accept death as a part of life

i used to have panic attacks when i would think about life after death.
and now, i don’t.
that counts for something.

I have anxiety problems and thinking about death used to freak me out and send me into panic attacks. Just by living, thinking and reading, I’ve learned to accept it as a part of life. I always felt like I was going to die and not be ready, but now I know that even if I died today I would be satisfied with my life. However, I wouldn’t mind traveling the world and helping make a difference. =)

Actually, my cat is the only thing really holding me back. I love her so much. She is the epitome of the “Universal Language” as described in the novel The Alchemist. Great book, anyone confused about life and death should read it.

Has anyone seen this? My family and I just saw the exhibit in Norfolk, VA this weekend. http://www.theuniversewithin.org/

THE UNIVERSE WITHIN is an educational exhibit
comprised of actual human bodies and organs that have been preserved using a method known as plastination.

There are a couple versions making their way around the world, not too mention books and video. It is strange, fascinating and not a little disturbing.

Strange to see what lies below everything, especially when rendered in normal poses of life.

Hard not to accept death after seeing this… it made me want to take better care of my body, and live a more enjoyable and fulfilling life.

Maybe death is a part of life yet I still can’t accept that moment when it comes to each of us and we face non-existence. It just sucks that I exist here as “me” the one I am now… for such a small time, never to exist in the same way again. Plus I have to say that I am afraid that I would miss all those other special people in my life…

I had a friend of mine pass away a year or two ago. He was a very nice guy, similar age, similar circumstances in life, beautiful wife and kids… and in much better shape and general health (a runner and in the military reserve).

Anyway he was sick on a Friday with Flu like symptoms and dead on a Monday. They never really told us much about how he died other than he had strep and a staff (?) infection. I never really got a message out of the experience other than how fleeting life is and how quickly it is gone. The hwole thing just seemed sad and meaningless…

is inevitable.

But it’s still a hard-to-digest concept for me. I hope that one day, I will accept and embrace death.

I guess I’m scared because I don’t know what’s waiting for me after death. Is there something to look forward to? Heaven? Hell? Will I ever get to meet and see my family, friends and the people I have cared and loved again? Questions. Too many questions. I hope I get to figure this all out.