get excited

For me there are all types of excitement. Kind of like all the reflections of pain. So since ive had such bad luck with pain and depresison in the past. It makes new and fun things that much more exciteing. Theres simple types like watching anime or reading manga, reading novels or watching movies. Where at certain parts I get so excited I have to pause it or even at times giggle (22 year old male giggleing I know pathetic right) But I figure at this point in time to deal with my depression the most important thing for me to do is find ways to be happy. I find to be happy most of the time i get excited.

I am not talking about the perverse kind of excitement or maybe it may just be around where I live they call that getting excited. But when something interests me to a point or something happy happens or im amazingly not dissapointed by something. I feel certains amount of excitement. You can judge my excitement by my reactions generally. Since ive been raised to not really care what other people think and I have always been anti social I dont hold back. If people dont like it, then they can leave me alone! : )

I was really happy to (unexpectedly) see some friends of mine at a beach bonfire last night, does that count as getting excited? I think so… though you can also get excited in anticipation of something happening…

Erich is floored, but more about that here.

I’m limiting my time at the office to 8 hours a week!!! which, will leave me more time for painting, and of course, 43things!

I’m also going to see how far I can go, how fast, how high, I can climb that ole employement ladder!!!

So, I’ll see you this weekend my fellow friends!

I believe this is a goal that I must keep in mind throughout my busy life, no matter how busy I become. How easy to forget those precious moments in life – those memories which are formed by becoming excited. Keeping in mind the small things that elevate your life experiences – A racing heart, a genuine smile, the promise of hope – all to which make life interesting.

I am reuniting with somebody tomorrow who is one of the most important people who has graced my life. A history between two souls will be colliding with our present lives. I am so excited, I can’t really contain myself. I know that after 11 years, things will have greatly changed, but I am undoubtedly anxious to see how the other person has evolved into adulthood and to reminisce for a while… even for just a while… Just thinking about it makes my heart feel like it’s gone home.

I am finally going surfing as a reward for so much work I’ve accomplished this past month. I want to absorb the California sun while I can and enjoy what I was put on this earth to do!

After being out of High School for many years, there were two friends whom I had somewhat cut ties with. A falling out before graduation left the three of us on unspeaking terms until a recent encounter with ClassMates.com.

Being the stubborn person that I am, not budging after all these years was just my nature. But over time, we have begun to e-mail and call one another. One of them actually came for a visit this weekend and I have to say, the freeing feeling to forgive and be forgiven is a powerful tool.

For the first time, I am excited to receive an e-mail or letter from them. A long history with each of them, filled with fun memories makes this little reunion a welcome one. Like a heavy weight being lifted from my life, this visit has opened many doors and gives me a personal peace that I have not felt in a very long time.

I always get excited when my sister comes to visit. We are as close as twins when we’re together and as silly as children. We laugh with our bellies, and cry with our hearts. In the pool, we play like little girls. Losing all perception of real life, engaging in the purest joy in trusting someone so truily. I can’t think of a better friend or a confidant.

And although I have always looked up to her as a child, I know she looks up to me at times as an adult – the balance of time entwined with history. And when she goes away, a little part of my heart sinks with the realization of reality that awaits in life without her presence.

In the stess of it all, we are planning to take a vacation. Although I would love to go someplace fabulous like Machu Picchu or Europe, I think the most appropriate place for us at this time is Maui once again. Since we were married on Maui’s Poipu Beach, it holds a special place in my heart. Whether enjoying a lava flow in a cabana on Kaanapali beach, or snorkeling the reef of Kapalua Bay, I never feel so relaxed or pampered.

I have finally gotten the writing bug back – YAY! I was up until 2:00 am working on my book and got in 15 more pages – whew! I can’t believe I have any energy today, but the high is exhilarating!