Stay Focused and Determined

That is the key for me.

Spend time reflecting on past joys and accomplishments. Consider what I can do with my life to create more satisfaction and fulfillment.

I no longer allow myself to focus too much attention on what is or might be wrong. I notice and deal with it and let it go otherwise I give it power to destroy dreams of a brighter future than all my other bad habits combined… I especially pay attention to it when criticized or dealing with a painful past event…

Negative thoughts and experiences can feed off one another, spinning me out of control until anxiety and self-consciousness literally take over me. I don’t know about other people but that’s how it’s been working for me if I don’t watch it.

Most tasks look easy on the outside, and they are… IF
you know what you’re doing.
- Anonymous -

• grit your teeth and just do it
• damn the torpedoes—full speed ahead
• victory at all costs

• injury
• strained relationships
• the constant stress of trying to do too much, too fast

I want to work with a gentler word: intention. Some of the yoga books I’ve been looking at use that concept. For me, it has all the attributes of “determination” that work for me: knowing what I want and paying attention to that. But it also has a less forceful approach. It allows me to make adjustments after listening to my body and listening to my emotions. It allows for varying levels of success, including failure. It allows for constant adjustments to the plan to take into account the energy of my body, my spirit, and the day.

Some days, I try too hard.

Maybe next I need to work on the concept of balance.

I accomplished three things today that required determination and the determination was rooted in the fact that I had written about them on 43 Things. When I tell the world I’m going to do something, I usually do it, even when it proves to be difficult, even when I have to remind myself multiple times that I said it and therefore I want make it happen.

• I told Ava here that I wanted to follow my healthy food plan as precisely as possible this week—so I did today even though there were four or five times when I was tempted to do otherwise.

• I put on today’s list that I wasn’t going to play solitaire, so I didn’t even though I wanted to several times.

• I also had on today’s list that I would exercise for 60 minutes, so I did even though I was tempted to do other things instead.

It doesn’t work for everything—obviously, since I didn’t completely finish today’s list. But it works well for the things that require sheer force of will. I suspect there are limits, too. Six days of healthy eating may be past my limit, but we’ll see.

I was wondering why this works here and not in real life. And I think it’s because in real life when I say to someone “I want to follow my food plan this week,” there’s a certain expectation for help, maybe even some shared responsibilty. But, obviously no one can do that for me except me (well, maybe if I could afford a nutritionist/chef and ate only what he or she prepared for me).

On 43 Things, the expectations are different. First of all, I expect 43Ters to completely ignore my statements unless they have both the time and inclination to pay attention. If they do pay attention, I expect nothing but encouragement. With those expectations, I’m not burdening anyone by stating my goal and I’m not abdicating any responsibility for it.

Just the possibility that someone might pay attention to what I wrote and notice that I did or did not do what I said, is enough to trigger my determination—not only at the time I write down the goal but later when I’m faced with temptation to not meet the goal.

I am often impatient when I know what I want and know how to get there, but the path just seems too long. I counsel myself to be patient, but I realized today that, to me, patience means sitting around and waiting. That’s not the way to make progress—plus, I associate sitting around and waiting with eating. So, it tends to take me in the opposite direction of my health-related goals. I think it will work better for me to counsel myself to be determined rather than patient.

Here’s one thing I’m learning. It’s hard to be determined when you’re tired. But that’s not giving myself enough credit—I was determined about something that got me tired. Lately, that’s work stuff.

I need to remind myself that work goals count, too. I am determined to be a good teaching librarian and I am determined to be a good team player while our team is two players short during the busiest time of the semester. So, I can give myself a bit of a break if my daily exercise isn’t as energetic as I’d like or if I eat whatever is available at the office near the end of another long day.

I know that this week is going to be worse than last week. On the positive side, I can do a little planning ahead to lessen some of the difficulties this will create with my other goals—write lunch breaks on my calendar for walking, bring a Harvest Bar to work for a late afternoon snack when my energy flags.

I want to explore my own determination. What brings it out? What strengthens it? Where does it go when it’s gone!?

Like Sara, I’ve felt determination in yoga recently, particularly during the warrior poses. And I liked it. How can I move that into other aspects of my life?