make someone feel beautiful

My therapist (well…actually both of them) have been going through some things at our university. Let’s just say it’s been a crazy month for them.

I picked flowers for Ms. H and gave them to her last week. Black eye susans…i think that’s the name of them. She smiled and said it’ll brighten up her office.

I wanted to give some to Dr.L…but i don’t think that’ll be a good idea.

I like to give things to people. It makes me happy that they’re happy. I wish…i was as close to my old therapist was i am to the one I’m seeing now. Her boundaries are not as strict, and she’s stern but fair and understanding.

It’s strange, but i still miss my old therapist. I miss her smile, the way the talks, her presence.

I really need to get over her. It’s been 6 months now.

...två gånger är en vana.

(One time is… no time? Two times is a habit… Silly swedish)

Are people starved for attention and love? I think so. What is with our culture that people are made to feel so unworthy all the time. I know it is not because people have a need to be liked or told how great they are. These are basic things people should be told! I am not going to give this one up. Period!

I was sitting across from her, and she was reading my sketch journal. I wrote a blurb about her at the bottom, that I’ve always wanted to tell her that she has beautiful eyes.

She looked up at me with that cute smile of hers, fidgeted a bit, (I’ve always wished she could tell me what she was thinking) and kept on reading.

There was numerous times where things like this happened (Most of the time, the tension came without provoking it) and the tension in the room was incredible. She even said it was extremely intense.

I miss that…

BUT I’m becoming Peter Pan! :) I cannot think on these things anymore.

I smiled and waved at the prison parole trash workers today. They waved enthusiastically :).

I don’t know if they felt beauty, but at least they didn’t feel invisible.

when I mean it and for no reason. So that means telling my niece she looks pretty and my mom. I also try to notice things like hair cuts and nails. People really do seem to appreciate it when you notice little things. I know I do.. when people see that I got my eyebrows done.. or my hair cut… that makes me think they notice the small things about me instead of the huge flaws I see on a normal basis.

That it is easier to make others feel beautiful than it is for me to actually feel it. Have you ever met a person who when told they are sweet, pretty, wonderful in general they assume you are lying or need bifocals? Well I am that person. I hope people believe me when I say it to them… I would generally not feed someone a line and so when I say something I mean it.

But I’m beginning to know better.

Will try harder.

My mom told me that she does not feel beautiful anymore. The sad thing is that she is the most beautiful person on earth.. to me at least. Why cant she feel that?