be more self motivated

I’ve started to really feel motivated. I have a resolution list the size of West Virginia and I can feel myself getting used to changes in my schedule and habits already. I now keep a planner, and I put in even the littlest detail of things I want to do, track my expenses, and have been keeping a list of my goals. I’ve even been getting to work on time (thats big deal for me) and keeping my apartment clean(ish). I’m going to start working on making art this week and hopefully in about a month I will be working on promoting my work. If I can keep at this until March 1st I’ll consider this goal completed.

If I do well in school this semester, and lose some weight, than I can say I did this… we’ll see.

I’ve done this/am doing this but i’m still a pretty lazy bastard.It’s a great feeling to be able to wake up and have some sort of motivation to accomplish the shit i need to get done. It’s a cycle of sorts becuase once you accomplish something you feel great which pushes you to want to accomplish even more.

This seems to be a big problem for me.A big part of it has to do with me being the laziest person i know and i don’t feel the urge to really accomplish anything that isn’t required of me to do so.I’m not really sure why i am so undetermined to do anything great but it makes me feel so undefined that i don’t feel that i am living but rather existing.