get out

Go hiking. Kayaking. Learn to snowboard. See the beauty around me. Read in my hammock. Eat dinner in my yard. Go to the park. Swim at Tim’s Lake. Watch the sunset. Walk/Run the Spanaway Loop. Hike Pt Defiance.

I’ve been so afraid for so long…I’ll be 30 in the fall..I need to get out, and see what the world has to offer. I looked outside my window this morning..and it was like something just changed. There’s a whole world out there, outside of my dingy apartment. I know I need to move, get out. Go somewhere exciting, that has promise. No more of this jail cell. I’m letting myself out. This very day.

I think i do this pretty well at this point. I go for walks occasionally and I go to the store by myself. My friends have been helping, we go out together a lot, but I think it helps that they go just so I go. I’m feeling okay about this.

We went out for ice cream tonight. It was nice. It made me happy, broke up the monotony of watching a movie every night. I’m happy.

If I counted the number of weekends I spent in my tiny little dorm room until 6:30 pm I would really probably be too embarrassed to tell anyone. I’m 18, I live in a great city, there’s a beautiful campus right outside my door (and down four flights of stairs), and I can’t even bring myself to eat in a different building. Not even out of my room until someone calls me. What’s stopping me?