get better at keeping in touch with people who are important to me

I feel like I’m living life obsessed with the people (person, mostly) that I’ve lost touch with, And as I stumble in a romantic, lonely haze I look at myself losing touch with friends I’ve just made. So I moved 600 miles away to try and get closer to what I was driving away from. Its all fear, fear of judgement and rejection. It’s easier to reject. When I try to bridge a gap it works, but its like I subconciously can’t wait to disappoint everybody. I think I should try making smaller, less grandiose gestures and holding promises back… jeez can I whine!!

I spent a lot of time with one of my best friends today. She was having a tough time and I was so glad to be there for her. We drank gallons of tea and talked for hours.

Then I ran into a couple of old college friends – it felt great to have a little catch-up.

And I’m off to stay with another friend on my way to my retreat so that’ll be more catching up!

Oh, and I spent an hour or two with my ex – he and I are still good friends but it was especially nice today. I feel we’ve softened a lot towards each other and see the good in each other.

Edit: Oh yeah, and I’m having regular mini-chats with old friends on Facebook. I don’t understand how some people find it addictive – a quick fly-by every now and then is enough for me!

I just remembered I emailed another old friend, one of my closest friends, who moved to the States years ago. I haven’t been in touch with her in months with all that’s been going on in my life but I got back in touch today which felt great!

And I finally emailed my former neighbour, one of the best you could ever wish for. I’d been meaning to keep in touch but life just got in the way till now.

I’m changing the title of this post from “This is going pretty well” as I just realised that I’m doing much better at this!

I had a lovely chat with a guy I’m friends with yesterday. We don’t see each other or talk very often but I realised he’s more of a friend than I realised – I think I’d always considered him to be more of an acquaintance.

But I realised, he’s always been supportive in my tough times and is really good at making the effort to stay in touch. So I’m going to make sure to do the same – I really don’t want to take him or any of my friends for granted.

because my best friend has suffered a bereavement. We used to be in contact quite irregularly but we’ve been emailing regularly lately and it means that I know about bad stuff as it happens and I’m able to be there for her, well as much as anyone can when you’re in different countries. She did the same for me so I just hope I can help her through this really sad time. This goal is really worth doing especially for times like this.

I’m often too quick to find an excuse not to meet friends and I’m purposefully being more open to it now.

Last night I had a lovely cheap night in with a friend. We bought supermarket pizza and had tea, homemade cookies and giggles. I’m not averse to the odd night out but there’s a great feeling from enjoying the simple things in life like this.

Today I met a group of friends I hadn’t seen in ages – it was hard going in a way and I nearly backed out but I made myself go and it was lovely to see them again and catch up.

I’m also in regular email contact with my oldest friend – we’re actually in touch more often since she moved to the other side of the planet! And she’s been a brilliant support.

And I’m back in touch with another friend on the other side of the country. She’s amazing and inspires me to try different things.

I’m lucky to have people who care – I really need to show them that I don’t take them for granted.

People don’t want to talk to me as much as I want to talk to them. I have a few key people I talk to too much. I now have a facebook. It’s okay. It’s probably better if I went back to not talking much.

i can tell a huge difference in my relationship with my best friend. we talk almost every day now and try to see each other every week or two. before we would talk once every week or two and only see each other every month or so. it’s great feeling like i have somebody i can go to at anytime day or night if i need to talk about a problem or if i just want to chat about nothing.

i’ve also noticed a difference with my boyfriend as well. i talked to him about my concern about our schedule differences affecting our relationship and he was very open to figuring out ways to talk and see each other more often. we even made it a point to text each other more often while i was on vacation and i even called and we talked for thirty minutes which we never talk on the phone.

next is to work on talking to my brother and roommate more often and then my goal will be complete.

Working on it!

This is a slow go, but I am making some steady progress.
1) social media – trite, but at least posting & reading updates keeps me somewhat in touch
2) going to visit local friends, or having them come to my house, at least monthly
3) Meeting up for after-work suppers at least three times a month

I haven’t figured out how to make this seamlessly occur; if I don’t take active steps, time just slips away and I suddenly realize “I haven’t connected with so & so in months!”.