spend less and save more

the bad news is that i may have to spend it but I’m going to be very tight. Right now I have $1000 in savings. I’ve done this since going back to work in July. I had to co-sign a loan for my mother to get a car though. I don’t feel too optimistic that she will be able to afford the payment every month. Fortunately, it is a very cheap loan, $73, as it is a very cheap car, $1400 and the term is 18 months. I wanted to go to workshops in November and December but decided to skip the Nov. to save money. I probably overspent around $500 in October and put stuff on credit that I should not have. I like seeing that money in savings even though I should have used it instead of credit.

my rationale is that I was tired of trying to find something to wear to work that looks dressy. Then my co-worker’s comment when I did dress up—why did you dress up today? I don’t want to look unprofessional. Face it, most people consider knit tops sports wear and casual. I bought 3 button down shirts and jacket. I chose colors that will blend nicely with my wardrobe. Black, red and pink and grey stripes. The jacket is black with white pin stripes but not gangster stripes. I messed up when I bought 2 pairs of dansk shoes. My excuse is that they are usually upwards of $110 a pair. They were clearanced at $22. I have to walk a lot and need shoes that are orthopedically sound so that they don’t make my bursitis worse. Dansk shoes are supportive and very attractive and dressy. The problem is that they are sandals. Can I wear them with socks this winter? Or is that in poor taste? LOL The big question is do I go get the last two pairs in my size or do I restrain myself because that is definitely over the top behavior. Okay, it’s over the top.

I haven’t overspent but bills from doctor’s visits past have come to haunt me. Instead of paying a little on each, I paid off three and put a large one on a payment plan. I had city and county taxes to pay. Then there was that kitten I rescued who needed to see a vet before she could join the menagerie… My splurge was taking an email course but it helps me stay focused on my spiritual goals. if I don’t stay focused on my spiritual goals then I am more likely to go out shopping and charging.I’m having $200 a month taken out of my check before taxes for retirement. I put $300 in savings but I have a feeling that I’m going to need it before the month is out. I will try to refrain from spending savings though. who knows when I will desperately need it again? Paying the doc bills cut me kind of short but I promise that I will not go out with the credit cards for wild woman shopping. I spent time going through seasonal clothes and shoes today so I have enough to wear with the shifting seasons. I promise I will not go out and buy more clothes unless I am convinced I need something new and go in search only of that item.It’s only 2 weeks before the next pay day. I’m proud of my progress.

I bought a dress for a funeral, new running shoes, and dorm size refrigerator for my office. Not exactly frivolous shopping spree like items. They make life better, more comfortable. I almost bought a $110 pair of shoes but stopped myself in time. I almost bough $45 worth of books but I stopped myself in time. I’m going out of town next weekend and I will need that money. The more I can stay interested in exercising, reading, selling online, and doing things at home the better. I did restart my retirement fund and upped it to $200 a month. I may start a Roth IRA, too. I’m not sure yet. I figure I need to save about $250 and put around $200 or $300 aside for retirement. I need to get some kind of tax estimate to see how much I’ll pay in January. Not having income for 3 months kind of messed things up. I don’t know how much extra I need to put aside now. I guess putting too much aside is better than not enough. I must refocus my affirmation—how can I make money instead of how can I spend it?

I did commit to taking a $600 workshop not counting food and lodging. Probably I’ll spend $800+ but I’ll try to keep it down by bringing my own food. It’s being held close to where I’m staying so gas shouldn’t be too bad. I don’t know how much I’ll get tomorrow but in the back of my mind is both great relief and thoughts about stuff I want to buy. I have to curtail those thoughts. It won’t be a whole check. I must get to the point I can help my poor husband again. He has managed to pay everything without my help since May. I’m so proud of him. I’ve got to be responsible for him despite my feelings of great temptation.

Here it is July 22 and I still have $500 in the bank. I had $3000 savings in May to last to whenever. I’ve made it 2 monthes. That’s pretty good. I’ve sold about $200 worth of stuff on the internet so that helps me enormously with holding this last bit until I get paid for the first time since March. My dear husband’s sacrifice counts, too. He has been giving me some spending money. god bless him! I hope this rash of bad luck has converted how I see money. In the past, I have always thought about how to spend money. Now I find myself thinking about how to make and save money. I even shopped a little at my favorite store and didn’t feel too tempted. Once I get into the swing of working again, I need to save, save, save and put money into retirement. I don’t know what might happen again. I hope getting sick taught me the perils of frivolous spending.

I’m really amazed about all the things I’ve bought over the years then forgot about and replaced, scarcely used, and all the outdated technology. Just a lot wasted money. Why have I wasted so much money? could it be easier to go shopping and more fun than staying home and dealing with my life? cleaning, organizing, reading, writing, completing my classes, and being by myself. Facing the things about me and my life that I’d rather avoid. If I change how I face myself then maybe I’ll spend less money. It won’t be easy but I’ve been doing it the past several monthes while recovery from being sick. I haven’t felt up to shopping and I haven’t had the money to do it either. But what’s left to do with my time if I can’t shop? Clean and organize the house. Be responsible. Save money.I have broke down and shopped a few times. It feels real good. Better than sitting at home.

Well, I’m not 100% back but at least I’m trying to get there. After paying bills, I’ll have around $900 left. That should get me through the month when I should hopefully get paid something. I need to make at least $1000 to make the bills and have a little left over for living expenses. The ideal scenario would be going back full time but I’ll take what I can get.

but the money is slowly slipping away. I’ve managed to make a little money $160 approximately in selling things on the internet. It helps but it is expensive to live. A car head light went out that was $24. I’ve spent $52 on gas with going to see my parents. I’m planning to try to go back to work part time next week. I just don’t know if my doc will allow it until I get a diagnosis.

I bombed with staying on a budget but maybe all isn’t lost. I spent over $500 for a weekend personal training workshop because I thought it would help me regain my mental health. I have been so depressed that I had to do something to break out of it. The workshop helped me gain insights that have pulled me out of the depression over the past few days. If breaking out of the depression gets me back to work and earning money again, it will be worth every cent. It was risky but I see insights and changes that will make a difference.