find my cousin

Shawn N. Edwards,
I am your cousin Shannon. When your Mom left with you and Josh, we never got to see you both again. Whatever happened didn’t mean you and Josh weren’t a part of our family anymore. Me, Nanny, all your Aunts… we would love to see you & Josh. I hope to find you and get to know you again. Please if you or someone who knows you reads this, please contact me!

last time i heard they lived in New Jersey and now moved to Florida well florida is a big state filled with George’s, Christopher’s, Joannes, Jazmines, but i hope they are trying to find their cousins too.

Last i heard was you left a message on Danny’s house phone saying you were in sacramento. I miss you cousin
:( -Denise

the unwilling to be found cannot be discovered.

they took you away; i’ve been trying to find you for years now. i think it was when we were both 12.

you weren’t at the funeral and someone thought my boyfriend was you; that almost hurt just as bad as mom-mom dying.

someone once asked me, “would you even say anything to them if you saw them?”
and i had trouble responding; then they asked me
“lauren, are you mad at him?”
...yes

i am mad because i’ve spent so many nights filled with uncertainities wondering -where you are, -if you are even alive.

thats what hurts the most- i don’t know if you are even alive; neither does anyone else.

i saw you in sheetz in morgantown.
yeah matty, that was me.
you and i locked eyes on the way to my car; i know it was you.
my throat became a dry i never experienced and i know even if i tried to talk to you i couldnt utter a simple “hello”
i wanted to ask you, “are you my cousin”
but i looked different. wearing hot pink velour and red rimmed glasses & my teeth were actually straight, i looked different as well.
i wanted you to smile so bad; if i saw your teeth i knew I WOULD KNOW I WOULD KNOW it was you 100%.

but you were never one to smile- but you were never happy, were you?