live on my own terms

No one to clean after, no one to cook for other thatn U, everything U buy is still there, No rent wars or bill wars, no one to say hey I am going out blah blah, listen to what U want to listen to music wise, can walk around naked, watch what u want on tv etc

To live on my own terms would be amazing. Not in the sense that it’d be exciting and action-packed, but more “heavy sigh of relief”. To live and learn to be happy, to forget certain things, and move on. To escape the unhappiness where I currently am.

My life up to now, 17 years, hasn’t been easy. Dealing with an abusive family, death and near death experiences, abandonment, and the likes have followed me for a long time. I’m still working at getting over these things.
I’ve decided I want to move, far away from here. I realize my problems will follow, but so many will be lifted. I want to move to Germany. I recently got a job in a really positive environment, My boss is really friendly. I start Monday. I can start saving for my new life. I don’t believe that you can make a new beginning in life, but you can certainly make a new ending.
I’ll attend a German School in a few months, as well as regular high school. I’d like to do my college studies in Germany. I’ve planned things, and come up with a general idea of how much money I will need to simply move to Germany. I’m estimating $6500 CDN, and exchange it for Euros. I’ll then be able to purchase a flight there, stay in a hotel, look for a job, apply for legal residency, and get myself an apartment. I realize it’s much more difficult than that, but I’m willing to push myself to do this. Something just for me.

To just think about this gets me very excited, and that feeling where you know a big wave of relief will fall over you.

~[Also, my family descends from Germany and I do have friends there, so I won’t be totally isolated. :)]

Doing this requires impacting others—need to make sure it’s only a positive impact.

I would like to be able to accomplish everything or any goal without having to rely on people to get there. For me the worst feeling in the world is trying to climb the ladder of success and needing to depend on others constanly. As of now though i am doing quite well with accomplishing all that I can and so far I have been doing this with very few peoples help.

...living in halls!
I put off marking this goal as complete as I didn’t know if I could stay in halls and be mentally stable/not die, but currently living up here is the best thing going on right now, being away from my house is good for me. Living on my own = good! (even if I am stupidly far away from R) :(

...like thousands of other students I shall be moving to uni.
Driving up early morning with all my stuff, saying bye, trying to make the parent and wanna be parent of a sister leave so I can settle, then having so much nervous energy I vomit.
I can’t wait!!
Finally, I am doing another 43thing goal!

Uni soon! september in fact, I hope I like it, I might not hesitate at all if I don’t (of course I will give it a good go but if I don’t…)to come home. But I just want to be out of the grasp of my mum, no longer fun being at home and I just get angry at my family all the time for no reason, it’s not fair on anyone really.

...this will start when I move away to uni, even if it is still living under someone elses rules, I will have no keeper anymore. My keeper is my mother, and I shall be free.

Moving away from what I’ve been brought up to recognize as the truth isn’t easy- that much I’ve found out…

I’ve yet to approach my mum with the idea of me going to the US, dropping my Pre-Uni education and heading straight into a university in the US

The university in question is La Universidad Interamericana de Puerto Rico. It is in Puerto Rico, close to where my boyfriend lives, and my GCE ‘O’ level credit is enough to get me into a few courses… I’m looking at psychology

Thing is, although me and my boyfriend (and his mother) have figured out the stuff we need, ie visas and all, I still haven’t asked my mother about it. There’s been an iron wall between us now, for about a month or so, and it doesn’t look set to end anytime soon.

I’m going to be 17 in August, and hence I still need her permission if I wish to go overseas for further education. Also, I’d have to ask if she would consider paying for the trip and the first fees for the first few months if possible from the education fund that she already has been investing into. It was meant for me to further my education as far as it can go, but as it is my mother… meh. Weird characters, and I don’t exactly relish the thought of going to speak to her about it.

The school terms usually start in July, but I think for certain courses it starts in Oct, or around there.

We’re sorting out the load of information we have now, and I’m going to the Embassy in 2 days, to find out more. I pray that our plan succeeds- I don’t want to remain here, now that I’ve had the chance to fly.

I had the guts to open my own yoga studio then I’d be living on my own terms.