So what is success? It’s all very well me saying that that is what I want out of life, the ultimate goal, the one thing that all my choices are geared to.
Obviously there are other things I want in life, one’s that will contribute to my life being successful, but are they worth it? Will my other desires make me successful?
I want to stop biting my nails, earn a decent wage, live in my own house, marry my lovely guy, have children, be happy, be able to give my kids the life they deserve, I don’t want to have to worry about money, but I don’t want so much, that money becomes an issue. I want to support the people around me and also be supported by them. I don;t want my job to be something I am doing just for the money, I’d rather do something I love, but if this equates to less money, then does this mean that I am not as successful as I could have been?
I see all of my old school friends around me, those who are now married, having children, finished university, travelling and doing things they want to do. However, I am still at uni after being forced in by my parents, chosen to do a course that I don’t mind, but that ultimately doesn’t make me want to get up every morning and thoroughly enjoy myself.
Having a father who has worked from nothing to earning a huge amount of money makes me feel pressured into earning a lot of money. Having a mother who has been through two divorces, and struggled to make ends meet has shown me that to be independent, earn your own money, and love yourself is the most important thing you can do for yourself.
These two conflicting ideologies, where Pa says ‘Money is the most important thing’ and Ma says ‘Love yourself, and be happy’ confuses me insanely.
I am in love with the greatest guy in the world. We come from two completely different backgrounds. I come from a privileged family, where money is freely handed out by my father, private education, where grades meant everything, and a university degree. My boyfriend was one of the guys at school, didn’t do as well as he could at school, and never went to uni. Works in a fast food restaurant but has worked his way up and is on an above decent wage for someone with no qualifications. He works 50 hours a week, and loves his job and we earn equal salaries, (for I am a student on placement). I want to spend the rest of my life with him as he treats me right, he loves me for who I am, and the money we have is our own. I refuse handouts from my father, having only ever asked him for loans compared to my brother who believes that my father’s wallet and his empty one are entwined. I refuse to allow anyone to belittle my guy, and will fight his corner as far as needs be. Recently I mentioned to my father’s wife that I wanted to buy a house with my guy in a few years after I have finished uni. Pa’s immediate reaction was: “When are you going to find a nice guy, someone who isn’t going to sponge off you?” It’s safe to say that I haven’t spoken to my father since – him living in Canada, me in the UK, means he forgets we exist sometimes – and I don’t plan to allow him to bring it up again.
So, he doesn’t like my guy since he has few qualifications, but I know that he is the best guy in the world, the one person who knows me better than anyone else, the one who has been there for me through thick and thin, and has laughed with me, and comforted me. I know that I can tell him things that I would never tell my parents, and that I will not be judged on this. I know that he is the one guy for me and that my happiness is linked to the amount of time I spend with him.
So whose ideology of success should I take; the one that will make me the happiest and therefore enjoy the next 60 years of my life, or the one that will allow me to buy a house too big for my needs, more cars than I have driveway space for and will most probably lead me into a money-orientated life.
I know what I want to do with my life, but there ever a right / wrong choice?
