For two weeks, I’ve been isolated in paradise. Warm salt water, hot sand..

The joy of it all was heightened by one small detail: I had absolutely no connection to the internet, and I put my personal phone sim card into a little bottle and threw it into the sea.

Perspective is what I got. A lot of it… and I am truly grateful.

Heal the world, make it a better place

In time, perhaps… but for now, I just want to reflect on my newly found perspective. 10 months ago

Stress: a physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may be a factor in disease causation.

My plan is to find a way to manage stress. Getting dressed in the morning could potentially stress me, deciding what to pack for lunch could send me into a panic, and many other small life things. Then when it comes to big stress, such as work, I am completely burned out.

Needless to say, this is not fun to be around for other people. What can I do to get rid of stress? Exercise? Read? Turn off the phone for a few hours? I need to figure this out. 16 months ago

I met a seemingly good man and I fear for him because he’s keeping bad company and I don’t know what his immunity to “bad” is.

The ugly took the shape of a human with poison in his heart. He was wicked.. and meant to be so.. he was rude.. and meant to be so..

I remained silent because I refuse to play his “dirty little game”. I am better than that.

However….

His pale blue eyes glowed a yellow neon monstrous glare. His short blondish hair turned to snakes. His angelic features shifted and twisted into a scabbed, distorted, and grotesque manifestation.

I have faith, that he will one day realize that what he’s doing is wrong. Am I so naive to think that maybe he is simply misguided?

Now, I must manage the stress I feel just from being in the presence of this monster.

Bake ccccooooookkkkkiiiieeeeessssss !!!!!!! 16 months ago

Past midnight and I haven’t slept yet. This is not good..

I should wake up at 5 ish.. and leave by 6:30 ish..

Thing is, the wheels in my head won’t stop turning.

Ok, I will try this again. Here’s hoping :) 16 months ago

For the past week, I’ve been on my Christmas break. This is a very good thing.

I work an incredibly high stress job. This is a bad thing.

Often times I make myself laugh by thinking of an old episode of The Facts of Life where Blaire compared Joe to “a salmon, making its way upstream”.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a lovely break. I attended a wedding (and I did reasonably well). I went to the Khan el Khalili Bazaar. I saw my former students. I had my good share of fun :) But alongside that, I drove a lot!!!

I drove my sister (she’s visiting from Germany) all over town. I made half a dozen trips to the hospital (it’s all good). I drove back and forth and forth and back everywhere.

Right now, I am phenomenally tired!! Been behind the wheel from sunrise to almost midnight! My EYES feel the strain of it all.. I am stressing another day of driving tomorrow followed by an impromptu board meeting on Sunday. New Years Day and I will be working.

Mmmmm… I can’t wait till Spring Break :) :) :) I am gonna park my car in the garage and walk everywhere…. ok, maybe that’s pushing it. 16 months ago

You know….. operational definitions are very important because one person’s definition of being overworked, may differ greatly from someone else’s.

Well, I am overworked.

I am overworked at my job, I am overworked at my university, and so it’s only natural that I would want to go home and relax a little.

But to come home to a house full of workers installing kitchen and bathroom cabinets (that they were fixing for the fiftieth time) can take an overworked person to the brink of tears and insanity. Especially when they still haven’t fixed the problems, created new ones, and were installing them very poorly.

This evening, my normal resting blood pressure of 90/63 shot up to 103/94… My knees feel weak, they shake and threaten not to carry me.

While I am still tremendously thankful for the multitude of wonderful things in my life… I am saddened by the emotional and mental strain I am experiencing.

Deep breaths because this too shall pass. 17 months ago

Yes, breathe.

When my heart starts to race and my face becomes flustered and I start to fidget, I pause to breathe.

It does help to calm me down, but lately I’ve realized that sometimes, it’s just not enough.

The stress really bears down on me, it saddens me, and it’s a lot to handle. I realize how down I am, and I do not want to live this way.

I suppose, I will continue to breathe, but I wish I could figure out how to stop things from getting to me before they do. 17 months ago