cheer up

things have been a little bit better. My anxiety and worry have been on overdrive (see the “Figure out what I want” goal), but my students this semester are AWESOME! and that helps. And it’s good to have my colleagues back.

Did I mention that my students this semester are AWESOME! Oh. My. God. I think our public university is getting better students this year because of the economic crisis (fewer students going to private school, public Us cutting back admissions, you do the math). A whole group of them finished their first project early and started bugging me to give them past semesters’ projects because they heard they were hard. They’re not just putting me on either; I see them working on the extra projects. It’s kind of unreal.

helped some. I can’t figure out whether I’m an introvert or an extrovert; I want to be alone more than I think is normal, but I do really enjoy being around people at work. I think my teaching personality is really enthusiastic and upbeat, and it seeps into the rest of my day.

It’s hard to recognize depressive episodes now that the meds keep them from taking on familiar forms. I’m unlikely to have a meltdown in public, to physically harm myself, to unfairly unload on some random person, or to have to begin every day with hours of internal debate over whether life is worth living.

But I think that the way I’ve been feeling is what being depressed is going to feel like from now on. It renders me useless just as well as the old version did; it’s just less dramatic.

I don’t have solutions. I know I’m supposed to go outside, and I do; I know I’m supposed to get some modicum of exercise, and I do. I know I’m supposed to reflect on all the things that I’m grateful for and love about my life, and I never stop thinking about them either. ::shrug:: I don’t know if this is one of those problems that has a surprisingly easy, purely technical solution, or if this won’t go away until it’s good and ready, regardless of any flailing I might do in the meantime.

I used to describe myself as cheerful and positive but i am so gloomy i can’t remember when i last felt cheerful for any length of time. I suspect it might be seasonal.
I want to cheer up, i’m bored of being miserable now.

Someone said how “perky” I am all the time! I do actually feel better. I’m staying on my meds. My son calls them my “happy pills”. I call them my life savers! Seriously, if you are depressed, feeling like you might hurt yourself, call your doctor and get help. Please!

With a smile on a face and ultimately good humor
I’m still stressed but I’m cheery most of the time :)

i think im fine now :D

Had to go to the ole dr. She was wonderful and boy oh boy do I feel better. Note to self: If you take your medicine everyday, you really do feel better. I hope to stop being so moody now. I know what my issues are and I know how to minimize the horribles, so I should just do it the way the dr. says! So I am. It’s so hard admitting that you can’t do it without meds.

damn..i really didnt realize how easy it was to cheer up. sometimes it just feels like youre in the darkest tunnel with no light anywhere to guide you. i guess i was looking outside myself for happiness or something, i dunno. all i know is i am not totally sane unless i smoke weed once in a while. being sane cheers me up, thats what kept getting me down…now to just convince my psychiatrist to get me medicinal marijuana perscriptions

I feel so crabby!!!! I am tired and bloated and fat and miserable and it is affecting everyone around me. I actually FORCED myself to try to just be happy. Now I have a headache. I better go back to the doctor and get some help.