hate is an emotion. its natural. sometimes its appropriate and healthy.

over all i chose not to hate all the time. it’s pointless.

but that’s all i can really do. 13 months ago

i try not to. my hate waxes and wanes.

i am not going to mark this goal as complete yet but i may of made some progress due to a revelation.

the revelation: the earth is a waiting room. everything you do here is just killing time until the end, even the things you think. hating is not worth my time.

besides which i already know its powerless and doesn’t hurt the people i hate.

i don’t know how long i will even remember this or this will last. but for now it seems to actually be making a positive difference. 15 months ago

Talking with her older sister who is a pharmacist and talking with my daughter who did the research, We have come to the conclusion that one of Linda’s prescription drugs to control her depression probably killed her.

http://www.rxlist.com/geodon-drug-patient.htm

Because she had told us of a fainting spell that resulted in a mild injury and the loss of consciousness.
What we were never told is the risk of heart disease on her side of the family. Look what good keeping secrets does.
I don’t know if toxicology results will even pick that medication up. Because the time of death and discovery had a large gap.

My daughter and I talked this morning. Jamie is a smart woman and told me that the whole scenario was a risk vs. benefit scenario. She had been doing much better for quite a while on this medication.
And I could see that with my own eyes while visiting with Linda. We will not be any sort of profiteers by hiring a lawyer.
At least I can cope with the situation more easily.
But that is the answer we have been looking for. Some drugs have great risks and benefits. Much to our sadness…21 months ago

more i rehearse things worse i feel.
the end. 23 months ago