Make an enemy for life

“We can come to look upon the deaths of our enemies with as much regret as we feel for those of our friends, namely, when we miss their existence as witnesses to our success.”

I achieved this a long time back, but have kept it on my list to serve as a constant reminder – that I both achieved a lot in standing up for what I believed in, but that I also lost a lot.

One of the people I would now count as an enemy was someone I previously counted as a friend, and on occasion a mentor. The row was inevitable, our personalities just clashed, but I do wish it had never happened. The only consolation is that it was caused by an important issue that I am proud I stood up for and not just some trivial disagreement.

Until I read your most insightful post to this “task”, I had my heart set on responding with a resounding “Not worth it”. However, after careful contemplation, I realized that I did stand up for a principle which was much greater than allowing my morals to fall by the wayside in the name of kindness to someone who, ultimately, did not deserve it. (However, gestures of kindness are what this person needs more of in their life as an example by which to live.) Now I have even relieved myself of a distaste of that experience, trading it for a much more positive outlook that, if done for the correct reasons, can actually be a positive thing.

From http://www.forbes.com/fyi/2000/0918/082.html :

A gentleman has been defined as someone who never gives pain to anyone unintentionally. This leaves plenty of leeway for deliberate rudeness toward someone you can’t stand. Stand up to a bully; speak out against a fraud; fight off a rival for a prize. Care enough about something to make someone mad. An enemy helps you define yourself. As Schopenhauer said, “We can come to look upon the deaths of our enemies with as much regret as we feel for those of our friends, namely, when we miss their existence as witnesses to our success.”