I just found a lump under my skin around the area my left ovary is under. Well, I know what I’ll be worrying about for… I don’t know, probably the rest of my life. I’m seriously worried out of my mind. It’s the same every time. It’s been over a year since I wrote an entry here about how I knew I was going to find a way to get better… to get past this. Nothing’s changed. I’m still going to doctors all the time for illnesses I’ve diagnosed myself with and not believing the doctors when they say I don’t have the illnesses. I don’t know which I have less faith in: doctors or my own health. I always believe that doctors are overlooking some illness that I have… that I know better than they do. And I always believe that I have every illness. If you’re on this page, you probably know what it’s like. Nobody deserves it. The mind-numbing fear that runs through you every time you find a new symptom and wonder what it is… the agony of not knowing what it is. When you have no idea what’s causing the symptom, you’d never guess that you’ll be in even more agony when you DO think you know what’s causing the symptom. Oh, the theories your crazy little mind can come up with about how ill you are… they would drive anyone mad. If not because of their gravity or their seeming legitimacy, then the sheer quantity of them would do it. Fear runs us in circles, my friends, and we’re damned until we find a way out. 11 months ago

I’ve been a hypochondriac for years but its just recently gotten out of control. I’m constantly googling things and making mental notes about conditions. Not a way to live. I skydived for my 18th birthday partial to prove to myself I wouldn’t have a heart attack…I survived. (And now stuck with a very expensive hobby.) My biggest concern is Diabetes, and I’m not quite sure how that came to be, but its pretty much always in the back of my mind. And it seems like it always on TV, the radio or just walking by the asile at walmart. Oh the joys. I really want to get over this, its not a way to live. I know 98% of the time I’m being absurd, but its hard to get over. Hopefully I can get over this weird obsession! 17 months ago

Working in a hospital is not exactly the best environment for my anxiety! I was a hypochondriac before this year but it is getting a little out of control… 18 months ago

I am 40 next month and suffered for a very long time of anxiety , panic attacks fobiers.I am always worried about having something wrong with me and I am tired of it. I cant watch any TV,read magazines or hear people talking about someone with some kind of illness or that died because I will think I got it or get the symptoms. I have had nearly every illness, desease, that you can possibly imagine.If I get anything wrong with me, I start diagnosing myself, from reading it online. I hate doctors,dentist because I scared to what there going to tell me. I was diagnosed with a very small hole in my heart last year which I of course cant not comprehend that even though the doctor said its not bad but very common. I cry about it all the time, and feel like I am a defect. I am very lucky I have a great man in my life who is understanding and will never give up on me. I want to know what I can do to get over this and live my life freely and worry about the things I need to and not my health or my sons.Its a horrible life and I hate that we are all going through this. HELP!! 2 years ago

It feels so good to read the other entries because I feel the exact same way as all of you guys. My friends and I joke about my health obsession a lot but none of them actually understand what’s underneath it. They think it’s just something that’s on my mind but they don’t know that I spend so much time on the internet hoping that I won’t find what I think I’ll find and trying to comfort myself but only getting worse. It’s such a lonely feeling because I have never met another hypochondriac and I feel like nobody understands what it’s like living in this kind of fear. I’m so glad to see that other people feel the same way (not that I’m glad you guys are in pain). I went to a therapist but it was clear she had no idea what to do with me so I left, and now I’m thoroughly convinced that there’s no one who can help me. It’s hard to understand what kind of fear we go through and how horrifying it is unless you actually are a hypochondriac. I’ve fantasized countless times about the moment I get diagnosed with the disease that’s going to end my life, but the truth is that I still have no idea. Everyone out there, I feel your pain and I know we’ll all get through this. It will get better, I know it will. I haven’t found anything that helps yet, but when I do (which I will) I’ll share it here. Good luck mates! <3 2 years ago