make eye contact with strangers

I don’t mean a nervous twitch or squint I mean that I sometimes find myself giving someone a cheeky little wink in formal situations. I find it difficult to control it and it’s annoying as it is a little bit inappropriate.

It’s odd but boots seem to feature prolifically in my emotional development. I was in a busy shop the other day trying to try on a pair of black over-the-knee boots (yeah I know and they’re freakin’ lush!) but the shop assistant was taking forever to come back with the right size shoe. I started chatting to an older lady who was waiting for a size 4 in a purple party shoe kitten heel. We probably chatted for about 15 minutes whilst waiting like two Cinderellas. At the time I noticed that she had very pale blue eyes, she was a lovely lady and the conversation we drifted into was about being compassionate which was quite moving really. It didn’t seem at all awkward to speak to her and make eye-contact. It was just natural. She convinced me to buy the boots because they reminded her of a pair she used to have in the sixties. The shop didn’t have the purple shoe in her size.

Well, this is embarrassing. What is the essential difference between making eye contact with someone and giving them the ‘glad eye’? I’m not suggesting that I’m so irresistible that as soon as I look at a man (or lady) directly on they automatically swoon or fancy me… but I do think I have a problem with making eye contact with strangers and it not coming across as unintentionally provocative. Perhaps I’m raising an eyebrow when I do this or perhaps I’m unconsciously smirking. I’m not sure but all I wanted to do was to look at people rather than in their vague direction. However I seem to be getting it a bit wrong. I’ve been told in the past that I have a very provocative wink which borders on the ridiculous, maybe I just have one of those faces. Either way, I’m getting a bit disappointed in this because I just wanted to feel more connected to the other lost looking people in this world rather than make them think that I want to get into their underpants.

I don’t have a problem with eye contact, I’m quite comfy with it but I also feel that I don’t really bother too much with people I don’t know. Especially people who work in bars and shops and stuff. I’ll smile in their general direction but I wont lock eyes with them. I always find that if I do make eye contact and smile at these people then they always smile back and I think it might cheer them up a bit. I do have a winning smile and I often worry that it’s misinterpreted as flirting but there’s worse things to be mistaken to be doing.