maybe this’ll help. a lot of people in lab do it. i just need more energy. some people work out for that sort of thing, but working out makes me tired. perhaps though, it won’t help and i’ll still be tired a lot. time shall tell.

Last week, I had coffee with a friend in Oakland, CA and took his rec on trying a new drink. I have always loved the smell of coffee, but I don’t really drink it. So I am growing up, branching out, and acquiring a taste.

So far I have had my second mocha latte and I actually really like them!

I will go to Starbucks and ask them for a good starter drink. We’ll see how it goes!

I made today my first day going out for coffee. When I left to go, I was feeling rather blue and almost didn’t go. However, I had promised Unc that I would go today, and I felt that I owed it to myself to follow through on my promise. So, I headed off to the local Starbucks. I ordered a tall of the daily mild roast and put some non-fat milk in it. No sugar, no flavors, and no syrups. I decided to get used to the taste of coffee. At first, I thought it was pretty awful and couldn’t understand how anybody drinks it, but the more I drank, the more

I LOVED IT!

Seriously, it just kept tasting better and better, and I found the taste it left in my mouth after I swallowed it very satisfying. I loved the way it warmed me and left me feeling comfortable and relaxed. By the time I finished it, I was wishing I had ordered a Grande, which is exactly what I intend to do tomorrow afternoon. I also have no intention of putting anything sweet in it, ever. I found the flavor and texture to be such that sweetening them or adding syrup just seemed wrong somehow. Plus, this is one of the few sugar free beverages that I have ever found that I actually like.

Now then, as much as I loved the actual taste of my coffee, I loved the social aspect of sitting in the coffeehouse just as much. At first, I sat there kind of stretched out and did my NY Times Crossword Puzzle. After that, I read about 50 pages of a crucial theoretical text for my dissertation. Both activities felt so much better than when I do them alone in my office. I actually made a key connection for my dissertation that had been eluding me for at least a year. Moreover, I felt calm and relaxed the whole time. I wasn’t nervous or twitchy in the least. I felt no desire to hide from people. I didn’t sit off by myself. I looked at the attractive women when they came in and actually made eye contact with them. Best of all, a really HOT girl smiled at ME as she was leaving. She was with her boyfriend, but when she passed me, she turned around and flashed a sexy smile that could have only been intended for me. That is such a shift from how women have responded to me in the past, and despite how much many of you tell me you like my beard, that can’t be the only reason. Something about me and how I project myself must be changing. I feel like something about me is different.

I left feeling really happy with me. I had started the journey toward learning about something new by trying it again for the first time, so to speak, and I had spent about an hour and a half comfortable in my own skin. I had a great afternoon, and I feel really good about myself tonight. I can’t wait to go back tomorrow.

On the surface, this would seem to be an unproductive goal. I mean, I am just about the last person who needs more caffeine or another bad dietary habit. Starting drinking coffee in your 30s seems a bit like taking up smoking in your 30s. However, I have two distinct sources of motivation.

First, there are many professional situations that involve coffee and as I go formally on the job market at the end of the year, there will be many more. So many meetings and things of that sort are held over coffee. I need to develop some sort of a taste for coffee so that I can take part in these situations a little more fully and not come across as out of place when I’m the only one not drinking it.

Second, and this is the bigger of the two motivations, there are lots of social benefits to be gained from sitting in a coffe shop writing and drinking coffee for an hour or two every day. I am terrible at meeting women in bars because I feel so uncomfortable in that setting. My hope is to reap some of the same benefits through coffeehouses and meet some women in a situation where I feel a little more relaxed.

Heck, if this works, maybe I’ll start smoking cigarettes, too.

Coffee is good for me. It helps me stay awake, stop eating, and pay attention. I need more.

People look smart, sophisticated, and professional with a cup of Starbucks in their hand while rushing to work in the morning. I want to look older and sophisticated just like that.