stop second-guessing my intuition

I am learning to trust myself more. I had senses and urges to go certain directions and I follow them now and they are always right, unless my brain got in the way.

I am 90% right about people that I meet, of course, when it comes to relationships…even though my gut instincts are right, I almost always convince myself that it is fear of being close to someone and not an actual instinct that this might not be a good idea after all.

But I am working on it and getting better and it is totally worth it.

I should stop criticising myself! 32 years and I already know what happen when you do or donot do something. I have to remember that.

:)

So is what I’m experiencing intuition, or just fear, with some doubt and self-sabotage thrown in for good measure?

My friend says I’m over-thinking. But the feeling that hit was a feeling. Sudden and strong, like intuition. The mind stuff only followed. Besides which, this friend just doesn’t get it. When’s the last time he had a relationship? And I think some of my ways fundamentally challenge his own unhappy patterns, so he challenges me.

I am going to ask the questions, and proceed with caution. My heart and integrity deserve that much.

This will also be on my list to remind me of listening my instincts. I’m usually right on the first go around.

But I will keep it up on the list because I need the constant reminder.

I have really, really good intuition. I always know when something’s going down. So of course, I’ve had moments where I’ve kicked my own ass when I’ve ignored my sixth sense. The times I’ve ignored it, I’ve paid dearly.

Well, last night, with this all weighing in on my subconcious, I attended Ozzfest. I had this sinking feeling in my gut. My boyfriend asked me to stash some weed and a pipe in my purse, in a place where security guards normally dont look. I put the pipe in there, feeling uneasy about it (which I NEVER do—feel uneasy, that is. It usually works) so I took the pot and put that in my bra instead.

As it was when we got to the front and had our stuff inspected, they DID find the pipe and merely threw it away. My pot, however, in the bra, was still very much intact. I’d been thinking earlier all day about how I needed to be careful and not get busted right now, and I managed to avoid the one time I would have been. Woo!