and it has to do with this anxiety issue of mine. I am ruminating over things over and over again and it interferes with my making progress on anything. As I slowly get my anxiety under control, I am becoming more efficient. I am very excited about this. 15 months ago
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the tools that my therapist has given me for relieving anxiety has really helped a lot here and I know I am only scratching the surface. I can’t imagine how much more there is in this arena that I can improve upon. But this is a great start. 16 months ago
going through all the LSW sheets that I had made. I do have a pile of random sheets of paper that I also need to get through and add to a notebook of helpful hints (indexed of course) with all the ‘how to’s’ of management. who to contact when you terminate somebody, the PBC process, expense report completion, returning a computer and so forth. If I could get through this lat pile and get that notebook started I think I would feel a whole lot better. (for me, having everything in it’s place really relieves anxiety because I think know where to find everything at my fingertips.) 18 months ago
and stop worrying if I am doing the same things as a the rest of the guys. It seems like everything has fallen into place and all that I am really stressing over is this stupid LSW sheets that I have not reviewed and entered into my computer. If I could master this one part of my job I would be so much better off. I am going to work on this.
Also need to include the weekly overview which helps with planning.
And the only other thing that would make my life a lot better would be to get those last two items completed, the coverage piece for charts for Chris and the deployment summary for all the rest of the team. (Also gain a better understanding of the deployment of my own tool set.) 18 months ago
I got a lot of things done this week, still have a pile of things to do which if I would just get done I would feel a lot better about. I am going to try and make it happen this weekend. I am hopeful. 18 months ago
about returning back to work tomorrow. I did not get through my work email yesterday. I am afraid to even open my laptop for fear of the amount of work that will be waiting there for me. These are the times that I a very aware of what holds me back. “Fear of the unknown” at least off the top of my head that is what I call it, it is more a fear of not knowing how to get started, afraid that it will be too hard, think it will take the whole day and I won;t have time to study, whatever “IT” is, IT scares the hell out of me and leaves me paralyzed into non-productiveness.
DAMN IT! I hate this feeling. Not even sure how to go about changing this. 18 months ago
I will go through all of my work email while I cook for dinner as well as all the piles of notes I have put aside to go through. I have wanted to make some cheat sheets for the nights I cover one of the other managers. I want to do this as well. with school starting tomorrow, this will be my last chance to get this organized at work. I did manage to clean out my office files at work before I left for vacation. 18 months ago
I didn’t do a great job flipping shifts this rotation and I realize it is just so much easier not to do ti 100%. I stay up late and get up late so it is easier to flip back on the night shift. It is working for me. The hard part will be to find the relationship that will fit within these parameters. This was a big issue for K. 19 months ago
this week at work. I was only in for 1 1/2 days so I had to get a lot done. 19 months ago
I am finally somewhat caught up on all of my schoolwork but very behind on a bunch of other things. This is where I get bogged down, I feel, and rightfully so, like I have been going a mile a minute to make one deadline after another with school and these management classes and all the prep beforehand that a lot of other things have been neglected. For no other reason but because of time constraints.
Time is a big issue for me. I lose it really easily. It is not hard for me to sit and stare out the window and let my mind wander to find an hour has passed while I was caught up in my thoughts. Not wasted time by all means, I am often thinking about my goals, my relationships, my future, and a lot of other things. I give them my 100% undivided attention. As I am right this minute, sitting in bed writing this entry. The only problem with that is I often find by the end of the day, I have let too many moments like this distract me and I have lost so much time I did not get everything I wanted to get done completed and I am stuck with another long list of things to do. I often feel like all I do is chase the completion of the list. As much as I like the accomplishment of completing the task, I do not like feeling like I am chasing life and not living and enjoying it. I guess that is where balance comes in. Thankfully that it on my list too!
So today I would like to do the following.
1. spend 2 hrs responding to final jazz discussion question and complete listening assignment
2. spend 2 hr responding to work email.
3. complete required school paperwork, FASFA, VSAC grant, Osher scholarship and ALAP expense report (okay, this will take some time)
4. balance my checkbook and go through the mountain of paper sitting on my kitchen table.(easily done while in front of the tv tonight, if I have time for TV)
5. go shopping at the sidewalk sale at the mall
My list could go on here, particularly in the area of organizing and planning on how to accomplish some of my goals. Perhaps this is one to leave until tomorrow morning. Let’s see how well I do with this. (when I don’t know how to do something I often become paralyzed in my fear and get nothing done. I need to work on this.)
Check back at the end of the day. 19 months ago
always rises to the top when things get a little crazy and I do not have time to keep on top of everything. 19 months ago
I tend to look at something and if I don’t know how to do it, I put it aside until I have an enormous amount of time to deal with it. I know this is a learned thought process. My mother always said no to everything because there was not enough time. That has been an obstacle in my mind my whole life. I can;t clean the house now, there is not enough time, I can’t start that project right now because there is not enough time to finish it. I often don’t know how long anything is going to take but if I don’t know how to do it, it paralyzes me and I do nothing instead. I need to change this but I don’t know how. 19 months ago
let go of perfectionism. I will get so much more done. I will be less stressed and have more free time.
Yes, this is key. Yet I know this is tied in with being the best as a measure of my self esteem. I really need to work on that.
I find it so interesting that as I write here, every time I write here I learn something new about myself. I have grown so much because of everything I have shared here. I am so grateful for this website which allows me to be anonymous and yet be so open. I have been here 6 years now and this is still very important to me. I am a goal setter, always will be. It is wonderful to have an outlet to share my goals. 20 months ago
to fit everything in helps but I need to make productive use of my time when I schedule it. 23 months ago
managed to get my office in order before this operation. I can go back to work in a nice and organized place.
That alone makes em feel so much better. 2 years ago
of answering emails as I open them the first time and clear them out of my in box.
Make lists of things that need to be done on a regular basis and use them on my calendar
Use the organizing techniques of my peers for employees.
My goal is t clear my in box before I leave every day. 2 years ago