Get back to full time work

although I don`t know if it will last. But at least I`m working full time now. Hopefully, I will manage it over time too.

It has all of a sudden really hit me that I`m actually starting a new, full time job in just a few days, after being home on sickleave for a really long time. All based simply on the hope that the medication will help, and that I might somehow be able to do this job without the headaches getting too terrible, even though I could`t do my old job without that happening. Oh my, what have I done?? Am I completely insane to do this? Ofcourse I should have applied for some part time job! Oh, this is scary.

from january 2nd. My new job is full time, I`m really excited about having a new job! It feels great to be monving on with my life, finally. But on the other hand, because of my headache problems, I`m really nervous about working full time. I so hope it will work out!

This is really tearing at me these days. I`m probably going to start trying out ADD medication on the 5th of december. I`m really looking forward to it, maybe I`ll get better! I could get a lot better even! But then again, what if I don`t? It worries me more and more. I`ve had such bad headaches and very, very low energy levels for so long now. and this is sort of my last hope to get better. Or so it feels at least. Oh, this is scary. So scary.

Wow… I wouldn`t even have dared to put this on the list untill a few days ago, but all of a sudden I feel like my life might be about change in a very good way!
I burnt out really bad about 5 years ago, and had to take a whole year of sickleave from my job. After that, I`ve tried working, but it has been very hard. I`ve mostly worked part time, and even that has been a struggle, so I`ve had long periods of 100% sickleave, which is where I am at the moment. I was beginning to think that almost constant headaches and exhaustion was going to be my life, I`ve tried almost everything, and nothing has helped really.
Untill a few days ago, when my therapist came up with the idea that I might actually have ADD/ADHD. So she sent me to a specialist, I went to see him today, and he says that it is very likely that that`s what I have! Yay! It probably seems like a weird thing to be really happy about, but compared to feeling burnt out for years without anyone having any idea what causes it, a diagnose would feel really good. And more importantly, there are treatments for this! Maybe it will help! It`s not like I`m expecting a magic pill to come along and solve everything, but if I can get a bit more energy, less headaches and concentrate better, that would be so great!
The specialist said that a lot of girls and women with ADD/ADHD are undiagnosed, because the problems can be very different from those of ADHD boys. Many girls do very well in school, without acting out or getting in trouble seemingly has no problems. That`s what I did, I`ve always done well in school, studies and work, and so no one (including me) suspected anything was wrong untill I burnt out completely 5 years ago. The specialist said that burning out is pretty common in that situation, because one can do really well with untreated ADD/ADHD for many years, but it comes with a cost. Because one has to spend so much energy just being able to study, work and gets things done, it just becomes way to much over time.
Anyway, I`ll begin trying medication for this in a couple of weeks. It might not work ofcourse, which will be a huge disappointment. But I choose to focus on the positive side of this, yay, there`s hope! :-)