get a First

I didn’t do it. And honestly, I’m still bitter about it, but it’s something I have to accept.

I still think it is worth trying though, even if all you learn is the limits of your own capabilities.

I killed myself for them.

I worked so so so hard – harder than I thought would be possible and honestly the 6 months flew by. I don’t think I performed amazingly well in exams – and one of them went terribly – but I know in my heart of hearts that with minor exception I could not have done better than I did (which is a tautology, but I mean if I had a chance to do it again I would change very little).

I haven’t gotten my results yet, but I’m pretty sure I haven’t quite done enough to get that first. At the very least though, I have learnt so much about my degree and myself and it definitely was worth it.

At this juncture – anyone who is thinking of aiming for this should. Even if it doesn’t quite happen, immersing yourself so completely in your degree and knowing that you have absolutely nothing to lose by going for it feels great.

I hope I don’t change my mind on this once I get my results!

in my second year at the moment and i’m on a 72.5% so fingers crossed I can maintain it for the next year and a bit!!!

Although first year doesn’t count towards my degree I NEED to work a bit harder… otherwise I’ll never get the practice I require to eventually get one!

It’s coming up to my third year and all the good intentions I had at the beginning of the summer have faded significantly. I’ve had today to reflect on what I really want from life, and it seems that this will help me in so many ways. Not only will it make my career choices that little bit easier (allowing me to consider postgraduate study seriously), getting a job will be easier to do. But most importantly, it’ll affect how I feel about myself.

I need to believe that I can set myself a difficult but achievable goal and actually reach it, and that I have the intelligence and determination to get what I want from life. It’s just a case of wanting it enough, and being willing to do what is necessary. I hope I have what it take :S

Well, I got my first year results and they’re ok. I got two-ones in all my modules, which means I must have gotten firsts in several exams so I’m very pleased that I’ve achieved this goal in at least one respect. My next aim is to get a first overall for a module. I was only one mark off for my Dutch so I am feeling optimistic. Eventually, I’d like to get a first for a whole year, and then for the entire degree. Not sure how realistic that is but it can’t hurt to try…

..so maybe at fifteen I shouldn’t think this far a head. I’m not even sure what degree I’ll do (though I’m pretty confident it’ll be English Literature). But I need to do this, and if I work hard according to everyone there’s no reason I shouldn’t?

Okay, so. My average is now a 68, which is 2 marks away from a First. I CAN DO THIS. I am going to kick the ass of my holiday essay.

The moment of revelation in Twelfth Night? YOU’RE GOING DOWN, BITCH.

All of first year, I felt pretty average. I’d been the strongest in my class through school and sixth form, and when I got to uni I was hovering somewhere in the middle. Don’t get me wrong, I’d expected this. I’m not stupid; I know that my school wasn’t a great school and that other people have been reading books I haven’t and are versed in theory and psychology and what have you. I don’t speak all that much in seminars.

The firt inkling I got that I might not be so bland after all was my tutor calling me ‘piercingly intelligent’. That sort of threw me. All year, I’ve pretty much been averaging a high 2:1. Then, I got Firsts for both my summer essays.

I can do this. I just need to do the work. A First will help me stand out when it comes to jobhunting; a First will prove to my family and to myself that I’m not lazy, that I can put in the effort.

So, have to start putting some serious work in.

ESSAY:
1. Take books to Kathryn’s; DO READING, NOTES ETC.
2. JSTOR at Kathryn’s
3. Dedicate day to essay plan – DETAILED ESSAY PLAN
4. Library binge as soon as I get back to York
5. 2 days serious essaying, NO INTERNET.

only on one essay. But it’s a backpat enough for me.