Love without fear

the fear is leaving me so confused. i feel lost. i feel bad a lot of the time. mostly, i feel guilty for dragging him into MY mess. The mess I made when I built a crooked maze to hide my heart away. I’m guilty cuz idk how i feel and he does. im guilty because i dont know what love is. im guilty because im not caring. im guilty because i judge. and what makes it worse is that idk where to go. who can solve my problems. who can tell me its all going to be okay.

Once I reach this point I still backslide every now and then. Each time it is just easier to remind myself how unnecessary it is to live in fear. Sometimes it seems like only one can have the spotlight at a time. love or fear. and when I fear losing love… Ive already lost moments that I cant get back.
I think a big part of loving without fear comes from how you are when you are alone. Before this relationship I was alone and I was completely fine with it. In fact, I didnt want a lover at all. I was trying to do something for myself. Well.. I still am. Just now I have a partner for encouragement.
Its becoming more and more the truth to me that it only happens when it doesn’t matter. It truly happens when you don’t need it or want it. Then it is the best. Then it isn’t a crutch or something to “fill the hole” in your life. Then it can just BE. This is when I find it easiest to love without fear: When I know, TRULY KNOW, that I can live without it because there is a wholeness already.
These are things I have always known. However they were more of knowledge than of wisdom. I can read and read and read self-help books and they won’t do a damn thing until I really feel it inside myself. I can know something for years and years that could change my life but I still have to come to that conclusion via intuition and/or my own life experiences.
Im ok with that. I dont need a cheat code :)

rust me, this can be a daunting task if not approached the right way. Our subconscious mind holds the key to true self confidence. We have to unlock our subconscious and allow it to work in a positive way and not a negative one. Self confidence comes from self belief.

First, get a book… “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie.

Second, read it…

Third, read this post below.

A quote from Marianne Williamson, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

This is more true than most can even comprehend. I am still learning to unlock the potential of the subconscious mind. But with knowing this, we can already begin to create powerful positive thoughts.

This is done through affirmations. (i.e. self talk, talking to ones self)...

Use notecards, post-its, write them on the bathroom mirror, stick it on your dash in your car. repeat these affirmations daily whenever you see them. Train them into your subconscious mind so that you will begin to “know” them without reading.

Affirmations are affirming what you are striving for. They must be positive and make you feel good.

Something along the lines of… “I am the most positive, outgoing person I know!”, “I am an incredible person that is growing and making friends everyday!!!”

or what ever your goal is… By saying these and pumping yourself up, you are training your subconscious mind to believe in yourself. It may sound hokey, or invalid, but it works and is undeniable….

Also, there are three major things that influence your mind.

What you read…
What you hear…
Who you associate with…

Turn all of these into positive uplifting things and it will change for you faster than you can imagine… Read uplifting material, (Joel Osteen is great for this) Just one book will help. Listen to uplifting audios, (personal development audio like paul j meyer or joel osteens audio books are great) and hang around people that love you and uplift your spirit instead of bring you down…

all of these are huge factors on how you view yourself..

but the number one things is you have to DECIDE to make the change, not just think about or talk about it… you have to DO it…

Jarred Doss

visit www.youtube.com/jarrededoss for videos on personal development and success.

…and the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom… ~Anais Nin

I’ve accepted and let go of the fear of losing him. I believe that he won’t leave and thus have opened myself up to him completely. And if so, well, what happens, happens. ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. He asked me tonight if I was having second thoughts about my feelings for him; he told me that even though I had given him no reason to believe so, he still worried about it every day. He doesn’t want to let go of any precautions he might have taken in case I do leave; he doesn’t want to be left completely vulnerable.

I shook and cried; I hope one day he will trust me.

...i suffered a lot in the past,and after 3 years alone,i meet a new boyfriend,i am with him since 9 months…everything it’s ok,i wanna mean,i know i can trust him…but i often think about things like”how it will be in 5 years?” or”what if i will ever leave him,or he wiil leave me?will i be too old to start another story?”...i guess it is the fear of love…

a lofty goal….
to be more like a child.

I’m beginning to realize more and more that you can’t truly love if you’re afraid. He told me tonight, on more than one occasion of my hesitation, that there was nothing I could say or do that would drive him away.

He asked if there was anything about us that I was unsure about; after he told me his uncertainties, I told him mine. His fears mirror my own, and it makes me realize that love without fear is impossible—but to love freely and face your fears and accept the possibility of pain or loss, that is the true aim.

I realized i was petrfied of love last night when I realized I do have feelings for this guy. I tried to push those feelings as far back as possile for my own safety and for a while I thought I was free from love and thus free from the pain that comes from love. In the meantime I forgot how good it must feel to be in love and to be loved. I know love is real, intellectually, but something in me is not letting me experience it. I need to find what that thing is. Today I begin my journey.

Every fear is only the projection of the past. That’s why I can freely leave them behind!