make better friends

The few friends I have are all living far away from me 90% of the time and I spend a lot of time alone. I would really like to change this but I am just kind of in an in between stage right now. Need inspiration to get-going and meet new people.

I recently found out that this new friend I made who has done a lot for me is considering moving to another state. I was crushed!!! I’m trying hard to be at peace with the possibility of this happening because I know it could be good for her if this is what she decided to do but it will be a HUGE setback for me.

Well, I think I have finally made one new friend who I really like. Now if I can just develop a community of new friends I think I will be able to mark this off my list.

I have met someone who I seem to have a lot in common with. We have talked about getting together for dinner. I become such a chicken when I meet someone I really like. I feel like I’m not good enough or cool enough so I’m never brave enough to make the first step. I want them to invite me then I will really “know” they like me. It’s so silly. I want to change this. I want to be brave enough to ask her to hang out sometime.

There is a girl that I have been reaching out to and trying to become friends with because I need some new friends. I have been real up in the air about how I feel about her. I was really nervous about approaching her to begin with and she as been hot and cold ever since. I have just sort of played along and figured I would see what happens. I have decided I do not want her to be my friend. She is friends with people that I do not want to associate with and she does not treat me the way I want my friends to treat me. It feels good to take control of the situation and for ME to make the decision that I do not want her to be a part of my life instead of waiting around for her to decide that she wants to be my friend.

I think I am attracted to the wrong kind of people for me. I don’t know why. I am very shy so I tend to be drawn to people who are more outgoing. These people tend to be more outspoken and they don’t treat me as well. Yet, when I have the oppotunity to be friends with people who I KNOW will be good friends and treat me well, people who are more quiet and reserved they just seem boring to me and I shy away. I also am having a hard time because I have had oppotunities quite a lot recently to get to know new people. If I am not 100% sure about them I get real panicky and pull away because I’m afraid if I let them into my life and then decide I don’t want them in my life I won’t know how to get rid of them.

Yes. After a few months I have had a change of perspectives about what “better friends” are. And yes, there are friends who I consider to be just friends who I’am hardly close with and I also have friends who I can be myself with. Apparently, I really am shy and can’t really be comfortable with some people, maybe because I don’t know them too well. But this semester I’ve really got to get to know a lot of my now close friends. :] I think it takes a while for me to loosen up to people. I still wish I could let some hidden parts of my personality show to them, things that they probably would think I’am not at all. heh.

I met a friend of a friend who is hopefully getting a new job and moving to my town. We hung out and had a good time so hopefully he WILL get the job and we can become friends. I have also asked 2 new people to hang out recently which is very unlike me. One person is always busy and the other told me to call sometime when I’m free. I DID call when I was free! Ha ha! Anyway, I don’t know if those 2 will pan out but I’m really trying.

I have started becoming friends with my cousin’s fiance. We have been hanging out a lot. She is very nice and fun to talk to but we are SOOOO different. I don’t think she really “gets” me. We are complete opposites in so many ways. I think this is why making friends is hard for me. I feel so different from most people. Someone told me that I am probably not as different as I think I am and there are plenty of people out there like me but I sure don’t know where they are!

I’d prefer friends that:
-aren’t wholly self-absorbed
-aren’t so naive to think that “tough love” works for someone with OCPD + demand-resistance