find happiness

After almost a year of making career plans that have fallen through, and quickly approaching 30, I need to re-evaluate my life. I have been very focused on leaving where I am at, with the idea that happiness will be wherever I end up. Now, I know that until a new path becomes clear, I need to find happiness where I am at, even if where I am at isn’t where I want to be. I do not like the bitter person I am becoming, and finding happiness will help that.

I came home and visited with the family. It is nice to see them. I need to take more from having them. -Appreciate that they are there.

i don’t want to change this goal to “beat my depression” because quite frankly, i’m not sure i’m really that depressed. it’s depressing to think about fighting depression. i’d personally rather focus on the positives.

i would say i have the blues. maybe/definitely i’m going through a quarter-life crisis. i also have Fibromyalgia. and the weather is changing. there may be some pretty big changes in my life within the next year and i’m not sure i can handle it. i just feel like i need to stay level during this time so i can focus. and yes, i do need help.

since i’m familiar with antidepressants (even though i never lasted on a single one for more than a few weeks), i figure, Why not try a natural alternative? so i went to the health food store today and will start taking my new supplement tomorrow.

right now, i feel i’m halfway to finding happiness, but i’m frozen.

newly single and on a journey of oneness. Need to find my sense of self again and learn to be happy on my own.

so many people want to do this i know, but i want to find the kind of happiness that last more then just one day, so i guess i want to find contentment(if there is such a word),i just want to be happy :)

i think on the surface, i give the impression that i’m happy-go-lucky and maybe that is my attitude to a certain extent, but there’s always an underlying depression. and really, it affects my daily life. it gets in my way, gets to the best of me.

... Happiness is here. The problem is that our mind becomes clouded with all the things we have to accomplish daily and there is little time left to enjoy the good moments. What have I changed? I decided to fret less about stuff. I let things come to me, then worry, if needed. But not beforehand, when I have little knowledge about what will happen. I am taking the phrase “everything will work out” more seriously. It always does. I am not getting into arguments with my partner anymore. I noticed that they are just cries for attention, and its not worth it. My happiness is with him, and I realized – every day something could happen – a car wreck, an illness, – and life wouldn’t be the same. So, enjoy it while we can. Every morning I am trying to find something positive to look forward to in my day. Its there. I receive my partner with a happy face when he walks in the door. We only ahve 3-4 hours for ourselves at the end of each weekday, but I try to enjoy them. No worries about unfinished things. Just having a good time together.

Because quite frankly, I am not a very happy person.

it’s hard to find

I guess I’m happier than I’ve ever been. still curled around the edges, cause life isn’t static.
I think I know how to make myself happier than I ever have and confident enough in myself to achieve it.
Shall keep plugging at this one. Shall take the brave decisions to do it.