How I did it: I stopped expecting to receive and started to give instead. It was a long process, which started with getting to know myself and accepting my darkest side, and therefore, since we are all-one, the darkest side in others. After many years of self involvement, this opened up a new dimension where I do not see a distinction between my ego and the rest of the world, but we kind of blend in. and the best result of this is that as I started being kinder to others, they started to become kinder to me, thus creating a virtuous cycle which i hope will never end... of course, we are all human, so if I get angry, or even hate somebody at times, I accept it as part of the ever-changing and ever-evolving universe we live in. Nobody is perfect and it would be arrogant even to try to become perfect. So I try to do my best in the simplest way I can. Read how I did it… 3 years ago
Something that I’ve been working on is turning more of my casual encounters into something nicer by talking to people.
Last Friday my husband and I were sitting in a clinic waiting room, and a woman and her kids were waiting. I struck up a conversation about her finger injury, and we were off and chatting. She was a hoot! Then her kids joined in, and another guy waiting to see the doctor. We were all there for about an hour, but it didn’t seem so bad because we were laughing.
I chat more with the people who work at stores, there is now one woman who works at a local store that I talk to every time I come in. She’s hilarious too. Makes the shopping more personal.
Now, when I’m getting groceries, I look at people more. I smile, I make small talk, I compliment them on something they are wearing or their nails (people love compliments when they are sincere).
Something funny happens. People smile. They instantly become people instead of that funny thing that happens when we are all milling around trying not to look at each other.
I notice older women who put effort into their appearance and look so polished. I see heavy women who know how to dress for their figure, and people with gorgeous hands or feet. Most people have something nice about them.
The world looks different when you train yourself to see beauty, and not to allow yourself to only judge negatively. 11 months ago
but in many ways we are not strangers.
I overheard three women talking about losing their husbands, and I nearly cried. One of the things I dread the most about aging is losing loved ones, and my whole life in so intertwined with my husband that losing him would feel like losing half of my own life.
I have also made a real point this last year or so to engage people working in stores and restaurants in conversation, and learning to see each one of them as people, not just strangers. When I do this, I am less likely to be impatient, to feel like they are doing a crappy job, or to feel like I’m wasting my life in a line up. I try to see how I might feel, doing their job, and how they would perceive me as a customer.
I have also made a point of smiling at people when I am out and about, and it makes me feel more like we are all in this together. I feel like other people see me, and I see them. 22 months ago