truly forgive the people that have hurt me

who has hurt me in the past.

Has been making amends with me lately!

Being kind!
Being thoughtful!
Calling me!
Doing things with me that I enjoy!

I just hope that it lasts!

This goal is proving to be very difficult.

Being hurt time & time again by the same people.
People who claim to love you.

will be better!

Why is it so hard to forgive completely ridiculous and blinding slurred insults??? Blah! I want to move on.

My Mom called to tell me she loves me!

Which is odd, because she hardly ever says it.

We haven’t been hanging out lately.
So maybe it’s because she misses me.

We have sort of a difficult time getting along sometimes.
Sometimes I just need more space.

But it feels good to know that she does in fact LOVE ME!

My Dad has no patience.
He really should work on this.
He also doesn’t say sorry either.

He hurt my feelings a few times recently.
I let him know, but it doesn’t seem to matter.

I will try to let it go.

will be tested very soon.

I will be spending lots of time with my family.
Please let me have lots & lots of patience!

I want to have a nice time together!
As a family!

Sometimes it just takes such hard work.

There are a lot of days where this is still really hard for me to deal with. I absolutely hate him and I know that is a very strong word but there is no other way to describe it but… Hate. My mother told me to never use that t refer to someone but I think that is the only way that I can. Loss of progress on this one for me today

“Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.”
-Euripides

I guess I just need to vent a little about this agian. I continue to try and forgive him and just when I think I have something else he has done affects my children. My oldest son just turned six last month and he didnt even call to say Happy Birthday. It makes me so upset at him that he can go through his life like his children dont even exsist. What kind of father is that? When my oldest got sick about 2 weeks ago I called to ask for help. Even though I have insurance the doctor bills were really adding up. Over the course of a week I spent more than 300 on doctors and medicine trying to keep him out of the hospital. When I talked to his dad about it he gave me the “feel pitty for me talk” and I just cant do it anymore. But today my oldest returned to school and is feeling better so all in all I guess thats all that matters. My boys dont ask about their dad and I volunteer no information because Im scared that I will say something bad about him. I figure that someday they will k now really what kind of a man he is and they will understand why I divorced him and how hard I really tried