stop letting fear hold me back

I think I’m getting better at this. Whenever I hesitate and say I don’t want to do something, I take a step back and think about if I don’t want to do it or if I’m just scared (or don’t want to take one of the steps to get there). For instance, I hate calling people I don’t know well, but that shouldn’t stop me from calling to buy tickets or schedule something I really want to do.

I also applied for an NSF fellowship this year, even though I’m scared of the critique I might get. Finishing and submitting that was one of the best feelings ever. I felt like I could tackle anything. Which is when I came back to 43things.

So here’s the deal. I want to leave the Dystopia of mine in search of great adventures and magical moments. That basicly means that I want to sell my stuff and go anywhere. I want to live freely. I want to get out of the rat race. I want to follow my dream. That’s what my dream is: a unconventional life. My material possessions obviously isn’t making me happy so why do I cling to the safety of them just because of fear? Fear of failure. The fear that if I actually leave and go chase my dreams maybe I will fail and come crawling back. I need to stop letting that fear hold me back from doing what I in my heart know that I have to do. What I’ve known for years that I want to do. I’m not happy here, with my life. I need something else which I if not for the stupid fear maybe already would have found.