start seriously supplementing my son's education

when he flat out refuses to listen to me or do what I say?

I’ve enforced stricter discipline and encouraged more family time and am insisting on nightly study time of some sort or another.

with him right now. I think the best thing is just to be there for him and maintain a good relationship.

I’m proud of him. My main concern is to focus on things not provided in school, spiritual things, good balanced education.

out to dinner tonight to discuss the forementioned changes. I don’t want it to seem like a punishment per se, rather, a readjustment in approach. I messed up and let things slide for too long, now it’s time to make some changes for his own good.

Where’s an instruction manual when you need one?? oy.

Certainly his favorite chinese resteraunt will soften the blow. ;0)

Along with my concerns with his behavior (being disrespetful, etc) I received a notice informing me that he is failing 4 classes at school!! I’ve put a call in to his guidance counselor as well as a message to set up a meeting with his teachers to find out what the exact problems are. I suspect it is a matter of not completing assignments because the assignments he brings home are a’s and b’s. Given these factors I, as a mother am obviously in need of a change in approach. I’m going to implement the following methods including but not limited to:

1. changing bed time: this includes making bed time a bit earlier as well as enforcing the before bedtime routine meaning he is off the phone at 9:00 in order to prepare for the next day and be in bed at 9:30.

2. removing t.v. and video games from his bedroom. These things are obviously distractions and somewhat distructive, not to mention clearly being abused. They will be removed for an indefinite amount of time. Take it day by day and see what happens. He can watch limited programs in the family room and I’m to set a good example in terms of viewing time.

3. cutting the amount of sugar in his diet: He is already a somewhat hyperactive personality. I don’t bring a lot of junk in the home but he does go to the gas station almost daily and purchase candy, not to mention his little cinammon toast with heaps of sugar habit. If focusing is a problem, sugar certainly will not help.

4. more structured routine: study time each and every night whether he has homework or not even if this means sitting and reading a novel or even a reference book of his choice. Perhaps drawing or journaling as well; structured chore time each and every afternoon before telephone, before friends, etc.

5. One of my co-workers suggested a young male mentor figure as a support. I’m thinking my younger brother (25) may be a good candidate in this regard. Someone for Lucas to potentially speak with (since I, as his mother, obviously am only living to ruin his good time, lol).

6. Regular contact with teachers: As I’ve said, I’ve put in a call to schedule an initial meeting. I have had no contact with teachers since he has started middle school. This clearly needs to change. I will ask for regular communication and progress reports, perhaps via email.

7. Setting real boundaries in terms of behavior and maintaining consequences when rules are not respected.

Obviously my son’s needs are changing, as is my role as his mom. I’ve simply got to readjust and be consistant in order to acheive my goal of raising him to be a respectful, well adjusted, sucessful (etc) young man.

Obviously my work schedule and ordeal with my mother’s illness have played a part, as well, in making me perhaps more distracted, less available to him

Ahhhh. 11 year olds!!!! Help!!!!!!!!!!

So complex, so emotional. My son is a joy and a wonderful young man. I owe it to him to kick him in the butt. :0)

Comments and suggestions are welcome if anyone can muddle their way through this. ;o)

to keep him in public schools instead of home schooling. At least unless high school becomes a problem! I need to start pulling out the classics for one and urging him to educate himself more on our government. He also needs some fresh art supplies.

It seems like all he wants to do is talk on the phone, play video games and watch t.v.

He clearly needs more guidance