have one more baby

Growing in the practice.Now, I feel after coming into the practice i feel I am started living THE LIFE.

Maggie was born in April, so I think it’s safe to say I’ve accomplished this one :-)

Im now 6 weeks, praying for a sticky little one and healthy baby born in January!

Last July, much to my pleasure I found out we were going to have another baby. I was overjoyed! I told everyone right away as we have always done, including our children. My youngest 3 who had just turned 1, 3, and 4 at the time were so excited to be getting a new baby to love in the house, especially my 4 year old son who wanted a little brother so badly after getting 2 younger sisters in a row. Things were good, we were ready, we didnt need a thing!

A few days before my birthday in September I happily went in to my first OB appointment. My husband had the day off so he kept the babies for me knowing they would be doing the usual pap smear, etc and Id rather go alone. The doctor wanted to do an ultrasound to find out the age of the baby to get the closest possible due date. This is when my whole world started to crumble underneath my feet. She kept changing positions on me, checking the machine, etc. I saw a “look” in the attending nurses eyes. No, it couldnt be. Id had no problems, Id done everything right, eaten the right foods, took my vitamins, everything!

Then she said the words no one ever wants to hear, that my baby was gone, had just stopped growing, there was no reason, it just happened. Now I was wishing I had not gone to the appointment alone, how could I drive the half hour home while crying so hard I couldnt see? She told me I would just start bleeding soon, or I could schedule a D&C. I held onto all hope she was wrong and wouldnt even consider the D&C. But 11 days later I miscarried at home, by myself with my 3 little ones. They gave me so much comfort, they saw me crying and just hugged me, they did not mind to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and cereal because Mommy didnt feel like cooking.

Tomorrow would have been my due date. I had hoped by now Id be pregnant again and it wouldnt be so hard perhaps to get through the day? I just took a pregnancy test to be sure, but no, not yet. It isnt part of Gods plan right now, but I still want just one more, please?

Little Caroline

surprisingly, a lot of people have emailed me about this one. a lot of good advice. i am still wishy washy about it. sort of scared. i want to have another baby, i’m just not sure i want to be pregnant again for another 9 months. that takes a lot out of a person. my son will be 3 next month, i still have plenty of time…i hope

According to studies, may have a better success rate than traditional western fertility clinics… Going to check it out – I know I’ve had acupuncture before and it did a 180 on a particularly nasty phobia I had, like night and day which was really weird and really wonderful. I know it isn’t the placebo effect because I’ve worked with racehorses and seen it work on them – animals can’t be fooled by placebos. So… I figure if nothing else, it will help me to be healthier, which is something a fertility clinic won’t do…

i keep going back and forth on this one. Right now i’m wondering if it’s really a good idea. My first wasn’t planned and you’re playing in a whole nother ball game when you’re acctually trying to plan one. It’s a lot different. A lot more stressfull i think

michael is going to be 3 in april. I want one more before he’s 5. I’ve got to lose my weight first to have a healthy pregnancy. It’s tough being a parent but it’s worth it.