leave my husband

I am 26, i’ve been married for 5 yrs, with him for 6 and i am totally unhappy.
i have been for a while, but i thought things would get better – i was wrong.
i care for him, and i love him as a person – well until he pisses me off – but i am not IN love with him.

we have actually discussed divorce on a few occassions and he has always put the ball in my court. which i hate making decisions!
BUT after he cheated on me – ok, in his words “it was a mistake we didn’t have sex she just played with me for a bit – i was weak” yada yada yada….. I know its just a matter of time – but with a whole bunch of debt – a house (aka mtg) – a car and personal debt it seems to be the only reason we are still together – sounds terrible but its true.

we don’t have a sex life, he doesn’t turn me on and i know i just need a good kick in the ass to get me going.

since he cheated on me i am extreamly cautious about his interactions with other women.
in fact there is a girl that we know – as we were friends as a couple with her and her husband until she left him about 2 months ago – and decided to stay with us ( it was totally not my idea it was his and i am still not impressed about it)

apparently they were talking late at night while her husband was at work and while i was in bed and suddenly they are good friends and she’s staying in our home.
she hasnt really left our side since she moved out of her marital house but as a woman, and a cautious woman at that, i have a gut feeling that she is interested in him and that it could be the same on his side, even though he denies it – he denied cheating until i found out through his facebook account!.....

anyway i’m confused, i’m worried, and i’m totally needing a kick in the butt or at least someone to help walk me thru this crap…
lets see where this goes…..

Where do I start???? I’m almost 28 with my third child on the way. My husband (common-law) and I have been together for almost 10 years. Over the past 10 years I have done the majority of supporting us financially. Then he hit a drug problem and was put away for 1 year for assaulting me. You would’ve thought I would’ve left then, especially since in that year I met a great guy and things were going well. Then we were able to be back together and he wanted to be their for our 2 kids. Silly me thought things would change, although he is no longer abusive, he is still jobless and says things like “well you have more money than I do!!” when he wants me to give him his “allowance”. Then I find out I’m pregnant again (due in 5 months). This also has not changed him, still jobless, would rather sleep late and play video games all day than support his family. He is also very argumentative and confrontational, which is okay, when it’s in the right time and place. Sometimes, it’s downright embarrassing when he “goes off” on people. I want to walk away, but am scared. I can do it on my own, and am not sure if it’s love that makes me stay or fear. I think it’s fear. I can’t live like this, I know I need to woman up and move on.

I have been with my husband for 15 years. Well it was great at first then a few things happen. Then he had an internet affair and actually met the lady to have sex. I knew in my heart and finally she told him she was preg. I was hear broken but we had a 2 boys at a young age and i had no money. He swore he wouldn’t do it again. Well 7 years later we are back to having a internet hoe. I want to leave my mom said to pack up and go i don’t need the stress. I really want to work it out but he says he does but i don’t feel it. Maybe someday i will get the strength to just leave.

I think I need to leave my husband. I don’t want to type it all in this little box, it would take to long. But here is the just of it:

He is a big time drinker! He isn’t physically abusive but I do believe he is mentally abusive to me. We have 3 children (1 from previous relationship). But I have left him before and he swore he stopped drinking and went to AA but the minute I brought the kids back, it started all over. Then, not 2 weeks ago, he got drunk and treated me like I was some hooker he picked up downtown. And it’s not just that, it’s his family too! I mean they are always in our business and they play favorites with the kids…...there is just too much. If you can offer any advice or would just listen to me, please email me at AMcpherson001@wi.rr.com.

I tried everything to try to get him to communicate with him. I was emotionally starved. He wouldn’t talk to me, sit my me or even watch TV. He constantly nagged at me and was so emotional cruel that I wished he would just hit me and get it over with. Im so hurt inside that I do not think anything can fix it. He now realizes how he’s been treating me because when I told him I was leaving he has a revelation that he hasn’t been happy with anything and is emotionally numb to everyone around him.

I woke up one morning and realized I didn’t feel like trying anymore. I had become numb to him and I don’t want to work on going through this with him anymore. I’ve cried several times a week for 3 years and felt useless to everyone. I want to be happy and find what it takes to be happy. Is this wrong?

I’m 37 and I’ve been with my husband for 19 years and married for 12 years. I don’t know if I want to be married any longer. The summer of 08 my husband and I decided we were going to get a divorce just because we knew it wasn’t working any more. My husband has cheated on me more than 4 to 5 times since we’ve been married. I tried moving my family to another state to prevent him from having affairs. I now realize that its not where I go but the problem was him because when we relocated he had affairs with two different women within the 5 years we’ve been here. The last time I actually saw him and the woman coming out of the hotel together. I pulled up in front of them and I asked him if this is what he wanted. He turned to me, while he was in front of the other women and said, “if I don’t be with her I’m not going to be with anyone”. My heart was torn apart, but quess what this wasn’t new to me. I still stayed with him because I figured why not I know what he’s capable of doing and why even put my heart in soul into another relationship and that person ends up doing the same thing.

However we tried to make it work and it began to fall apart as I mentioned above over the summer of 08. I ended up finding me a new apartment and my husband tagged along. Well I met a gentlemen that I became friends with. Make a long story short I fell deeply in love with this guy and now my husband all of a suddenly falls head over hills with me. This was the type of love I was looking to get from him in the beginning and never did. I am still seeing this guy right now and my husband doesn’t know. The guy thinks that I divorced my husband. I really want to be with the other guy but I’m scared to hurt my husband even though he didn’t think about hurting me when he had all those affairs. I am so confused. I know I could make it on my own. This is my sons last year in high school and my daughter has one year to go. What do I have to lose? It’s been over a year now since I’ve been dealing with this other guy and I want to be with him so much that I think about him even when I have sex with my husband. I sometimes sneak in the closet and call him. He makes me fell special and he is kind, unselfish and very smart. He knows how I need to be treated.

i need to leave my husband and i have no money, because he has it all. what do i do?

My husband and I have both changed aftr having our first child. whick i expected but he is actually more selfish then I realized and our marriage is at an all time low. I just want out i feel like the longer i wait the more it will hurt all three of us.

I’ve been with my husband for three tears im 28 with 4 kids and another baby on the way in 1 month im struggling with should i leave and how he an abusive drug addict he lies saying he’ll stop but has’nt it hard to raise our kids alone but i know i can do it. we moved out of town and i dont really have no one but him. he can’t hold a job but gets mad that he dont have one. Today he left me again but he does it a lot when he not thinking about the drugs he kind and sweet, but when he does he’ll sometimes hit me call me a bitch and tell me it’s my fault what get’s me is how he get sweet and make me change my mind . I feel stuck and i dont want to what can i do.

In my earlier post, I revealed that I’m pregnant and due on November 13th. No baby yet!

Well, on October 24th, my husband got a $1000 credit limit increase on his credit card. My husband is the type of person that if you give him $1, he’s gonna run out and spend $10. I was very surprised that he didn’t go on a shopping spree that weekend. Instead, he told me that it’d be good to have not only for the baby, but also if we needed it at Christmas.

On October 28th, my doctor told me I was dilated to a two! So, my husband goes ahead and takes the next week off work. I was pissed! He only has one week PTO time left. I’m high risk pregnancy and could easily wind up with a c-section. He knows this. He knows I really need him after the birth. He explained that if at my appointment on November 3rd, it didn’t look like the baby was coming soon, he’d call work and get some solo runs to make the PTO last longer.

So, I go to my appointment on November 3rd, and the doctor says I’m now dilated to a three. He said it would be soon. Maybe this week, maybe next. Does my husband call work and get any solo runs? No. Instead he spends almost $500 upgrading the computer and on a new war game. Well, about $70 was on a birthday present for my daughter, so he spent a little over $400 on the computer!

Has he helped do anything around the house to prepare for baby like help me freeze meals? Bring the baby bath up from the basement like I’ve been asking him to for a month? No. He upgraded the computer and has been playing his new game about 12 hours a day.

So, it’s Saturday. No baby. And, he goes back to work on Monday. Thanks, babe! I really appreciate you showing me how much you care like this. It’s things like this that let me know I am right in my decision to get the hell out of this marriage.