become my own person

I used to think “I am self confident, I don’t care what people think.”

The whole time I did. I constantly worried about what people think. I wanted to blend in. I wanted to make people laugh.

I have started giving up on the whole ‘make other people happy’ thing.

I stand out alot more. I find that I have met alot more guys that are worth my time.

Am I my own person? I’d like to think I am. I don’t follow the crowd much. I’m a hard worker, working for my happiness not the happiness of others. I’m completely an independent woman. I don’t depend on my parents. I get the bills paid, I make the grades, I have fun the way I WANT to have it. I get where I need to go the way I have to get there. Nobody is going to make up my mind for me. My major, my graduation date, my living situation, all my choices. This is my own person. At least this what I think. We’ll see…

To figuring out who I am.

When I first started dating my ex, I swore I wouldn’t change. But of course, I did. Some of it was for the better, he brought out things in me I didnt know I have. But I also lost a lot of my independence (which was one of the reasons he fell for me . . . go figure). So now I’m trying to figure out who I am now . . . be ‘Linden’ instead of ‘Linden and . . .’
Its a slow process, but I’ll get there!

I have always relied on other people to make me happy, have a good time, start a conversation, make the first move. Well I’m tired of it. I want to go new places myself, eat at a sitdown restaurant myself, go to the movies myself and NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT IT!!! I want to be confident, I want to be stable, I want to feel good enough about me that I don’t give a mouse’s donkey what other people who dont know me think.