do my job better

I work at the Deli in Save-On-Foods. I love it. But I screw up sometimes, and I desire to be excellent at my job, excellent, efficient, dependable, super-great, flawless, etc, etc. But I can’t help feeling like the stupid person there. I got the end of my finger off in the meat slicer yesterday and wrecked everyone’s plans. How stupid. Certain people I work with have little patience for me and I know they talk about me behind my back. I don’t want to have to be babysat. At my old job, the pet store, I was knowledgeable and smart and I knew what I was doing and talking about.I was an expert in my field.Now I’m a dummy, and it’s a sore blow to me.