Learn to say no

Some friends from high school are going on holiday together and invited me.
I don’t want to go because:
- I don’t get along very well with them anymore
- I don’t like the area they’re going to
- I would not be able to spend that much time there

So I just said NO. Feels pretty good ;)

I tried to have a serious talk with my boyfriend, because I’ve had alot of issues. I half expected this talk to end in a break up, and I was ready for it, but it turned out so anti-climactic. I told him my issues, he told me not to worry about it, to wait until we’re on our own and we’ll work through whatever’s wrong, and then he walked off. I couldn’t say, “no, we need to talk about it now.” because I knew he wasn’t taking me seriously, and he wouldn’t listen. Eventually, I have to make him hear me.

I’ve never been good at telling people no. It goes back to the “be myself” goal. I am so afraid of people not liking me, that I do whatever I can to make sure they do. As a result, I get used…ALOT. My best friend will invite me over for dinner, just to ask me to watch her daughter, and do her dishes, and help her clean the house. I live with my boyfriend, his brother, his brother’s girlfriend, and her son. They all use my car. I can’t use my car at the drop of a hat, like say, if I want to go visit my family. I have to find a ride…but I have a car. I can’t take my car because one of them will probably need it to get to work, or to take the kid to school, or to go shopping, or whatever. And of cource, they don’t ask my permission, because it’s a given. I DON’T EVEN HAVE KEYS FOR MY CAR! They keep them. I’ve had jobs in the past that would call me in on almost all my days off, and I said yes every time. This is something I’ve been working on for years, and am still working on. I need to be able to say no. Always saying yes isn’t healthy.

... sometimes is about saying “yes”.
Taking chances, opportunities you are given because they might not come around again. Take them because you deserve them and because you have to put yourself first sometimes.

I guess that’s life. It doesn’t make you a bad person.

Ok so there’s this guy that catches the same bus as me sometimes and he keeps asking me to go out with him… except he does it in a way that he’s not asking if i WANT to go out with him, he’s just asking WHEN i’m free so that i can go out with him… and because this is an awkward situation I’ve just been saying I’m very busy with work and study and stuff, so I’m not rejecting him… I’m making excuses… but he keeps persisting!!! I know I just need to say I have free time but I don’t want to go out with him, i need to JUST SAY NO!!!!

...ok clearly I’m still working on this goal, but for now, I’m just hoping that my change in uni timetable, and thus bus timetable will mean I don’t see him again… even though he lives right near me… gahhh!!!

I met a guy from my class a few days ago and decided to go to an event he was organizing (to please him, really).

I saw him today and he made fun of my weight. Maybe it was supposed to be fun but every guy should know girls hate it when it’s about their weight.

I told him I wasn’t going to his thing anymore.

... But, as I am LAAAAME, I accepted to do a “détour” to drop some things at our school on my way home. (And found out it was unuseful + wasn’t thanked).

I hate this.

Today was more about saying “yes”.

Someone offered to show me a cardiac echography and I went. But promised my friend she’d see the next “cool” thing :)

Well I passed her and told her that I didn’t appreciate what she said but she turned it all back on me saying that she was just joking and that I was the one who started it all and I just buzzed the rest out. I just gave up and forgived her. Right now she just stepped into my office and asked me to have lunch thank goodness I’ve already eaten (like a pig). However the point is that It’s scares me that I’d rather let someone destroy me and my ‘reputation’ than stand up for myself and say no! I never realised how much I hated myself. Like I said earlier thank goodness for this site. I’m doing things I probably would never have done. It didn’t go well today but maybe tomorrow it’ll get better:) OINK

Some person at work tarnished the kind of person I am to strangers. Telling them that I was spoilt and all sorts of things in front of me. I told her it was not cool to talk about others to people who don’t know them. She continued and I moved away and said nothing. This is not the first time she’s done this so my brother suggests I say something to her but I’m scared. How sad is it that I’m too scared to say no to people spreading rumours about me. NO not this time. Enough is enough. I know this sounds corny but I won’t be alone cos I have a bunch of people out there who I don’t know cheering me on. Helping me move forward and not backward. I’m not sure whether I would have been able to do this without 43things. Spank you all very much and this is for all of you who are scared to say no…I’m waiting for her to reach the office and then…Wish me luck

I think that I find it difficult cos I put everyone on this pedestal even if I don’t like the kind of person they are. It’s strange I can see through people most of the time but I still can’t tell them NO! It’s so stupid but I need to fix this inferiority complex I have. I never felt like this when I was in high school. I was confident but years later I feel blah… I think it also has to do with my weight.