Risk Change

I wonder when I became such a wus about change. Feeling secure is one thing, but always being in a comfortable zone does zip for growth.
I will make an effort to recognize (on a daily basis) when and what I am resisting due to fear of change.

I have been fearing failure. I am “timid” in many other areas. I am looking for ways to become more assertive.

I know why--I am fearful of not doing well, especially after the workshop-I plan on doing some very lose studies during this next week. The hell with whether they are any “good”!!

I meant to paint today and instead I did busy-work type things. Tomorrow will be the first time painting since the end of the workshop. Maybe I will write “be unafraid of failure” across my canvas.

I sense I DID learn alot and I plan on placing all my notes into a decent notebook along with photographs. I will do some exercises from it and refer to it over the next year. I checked out another workshop for next year, with a guy with a similar style of teaching.
What I learned through this experience was that I was the worst one in the class…and the earth did not spin off its axis.
A person can learn alot when they put their ego aside.

every painting I have done for the workshop has been terrible. Well, one was passable-the rest are miserable miserable, miserable. No exaggeration..It is like an alien with no concept of how to produce these exercises has taken me over! I swear, I AM listening-! If I weren’t telling myself to be unafraid of failure I would just want the earth to open up and swallow me..this is embarrassing—being the worst one in the class! HOWEVER! I have resolved that I WILL GET THIS. Without errors, learning can not take place.