not fight with my boyfriend

I fucked up on this one again…. trying really hard :)

Havent really fought lately, except that he forgot to call me one night until supper late and I was having a bad day but i mean its not that big of a deal really, i was just sad and missing him alot. I think we will get everything figured out.

Enough said…

Let’s just there is no boyfriend anymore. Thank you Florida and Tina. GO F YOUR SELF!!!

Seriously though, I’m over it. I have a new make out boyfriend. It’s cool.

think that we’re done. I’ve asked him so many times and he’s agreed adn then broken his agreement so many times that i can’t take it anymore. He says he won’t smoke around me and then whenever he feels like smoking anyway when I’m around he will. So dumb!! The thing is is it was his idea to smoke, but just not around me adn now he’s the one breaking the “rule” he made. But he’s kinda blaming it on me. I think we might be done. I can’t take the emotional rollercoaster anymore.

things are gonig to be done with us. I’ve taken just baout as much as I can take. I’ve been acused of running Bubb over while back out of his drive way and I;ve been yelled at by his dad when I wasn’t the one who did anything.

The weekend was great until last night when I went to go home. He started everything, yet it’s still all my fault. Whatever! :(

So let’s just say I haven’t talked to him since Saturday night and I’m not going to until he calls me. And even then I’m not so sure I’m going to answer the phone.

You see it all started when I called him Saturday morning. By the time I had gotten off the phone with him our plans were that we were going to hang out. Most likely at his house and just play pool with a few of his friends. Perhaps we were gonig to stop by this kid Jon’s house. He said he’d call when he got out of work, but that never happen. Since he doesn;t get service at his new house I figured maybe he was waiting for me to go there cause that’s happened before. So I go to his house only he;s not there and his parents have no idea where he is either. They suggest a couple places that he may be at. So I check them out and he’s at this place called the BarLunch. I asked him what happen and all he keeps telling me is that his phone died and he had no way of calling me. Hello, you have how many friends that have phones? Whatever. Let’s just not put in any effort what so ever and then blame it on me like always.

Let’s just say I was crying my eyes out and was talking to Sarah about all of this asking her what I should do. I felt like such an asshole calling her crying all crazy and things, but I didn’t know what to do. I decided I was going to go see her at Jon’s house, but I couldn’t remember how to get there. I stopped at Bubb’s houes one more time to get a sweat shit I thought I had left there, but I guess not cause when I looking for it I couldn’t find it. So I left there, called her, and it just kept going to her voicemail. I think it was because Jon’s house has little to no service. Then when Sarah finally called me my battery died. So I went home to charge my phone onyl to have my charger break. I love phones. So much I could throw them a huge party for sucking so bad.

So that was my new year eve. Fucking worst new years of my life. No lie either. I was all by myself, well my mum was there, crying, with no one to share it with.

I ahted it so much.

I’m not sure about anything anymore. I feel so lost and out of place most of the time with him. I don’t get it. When we first started dating and the whole first year of our relationship was great. Yeah the whole smoking thing I hate, but he was so good and great to me. Now I feel like he only cares about what he wants to do and doesn’t care about me and what I need/want. Why are boys like this? I don’t understand. They beg and beg and beg you to go back out with them and then all of the sudden they’re not sure if they want to be with you anymore. Like everything is my fault. I think I need help. I just want to cry sooooo much right now. I miss my Bubb that use to care about everything that had to do with me.

.....things to be GREAT!!! I want the guy I started going out with two years ago back. Why is he all about being stuborn and selfish right now. I understand he wants to learn new things and have fun in life, but why does he have to not care about my feelings while doing it? Why can’t he take me into consideration. I’ve been ditched two weekends in a row for this friend and I’m sick of it. I haven’t done anything with him in over two weeks and it seems that every time a holiday or special occasion is coming up, he’s like this. I don’t get it.

He says he wants to be with me and loves me and everything, but why is he being like this if that’s the case? I miss Bubb :( I just want to be able to hangout with him and not worry about if he’s in a good or bad mood or what not.

I love Bubb and it’s hurting right now.

Another fight last night. I feel like this is going to be never ending. I want a beautiful relationship again. I want to feel appreciated and loved so much that I could burst.