“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle”.
It is really hard to be nice and friendly when you are suffering depression. Even where you’re feeling at your very worst, remember that other people are also feeling uncertainty, pain, hardship, sadness, disappointment, and loss. In no way does this belittle your own feelings but it does allow you to realize that people often react from their hurt and pain rather than from their whole self, and kindness is the key to seeing past the raging emotions and connecting with the real person inside.
1) Learn to let go of anger and hate.
Often horrible people do horrible things because they are hurting. Sometimes, this process can be very subconscious. We won’t know why we’re being mean or angry or greedy or jealous—we’ll just do it. And then we’ll probably justify ourselves by pretending that it was entirely the other person’s fault. Sometimes a person can’t afford to acknowledge how horrible they’re being, because, deep down, they already feel terrible about themselves.
2) Ask myself why I am feeling an urge to be unkind.
Is it because you’ve had a bad morning, or because you’re feeling hurt or insecure? Is it because the other person has said something that has made you angry or upset?
If you want to be unkind because you’ve been hurt or you’re feeling insecure, then acknowledge the part of you that feels hurt.
Try to deal with this without taking it out on somebody else. Be kind to yourself.
If you want to be unkind because the other person has said something horrible to you, then you can do two things:
Try to make sense of why you feel so hurt. Did what the person said to you have a grain of truth in it, or are you afraid that it might? Is this why it upset you or made you angry?
Remember that the other person is fighting their own hard battle. They might have had their own terrible morning/week/life. You’re just unlucky that they’re taking it out on you. If what they’ve said to you doesn’t feel personal any more, it will have much less power to affect you.
3) Try to be happy, joyful, self-loving and grateful.
4) Smile to the people you meet, it will urge the other person to smile back.
5) Don’t be shy to introduce yourself to new people.
6) Ask “how are you?” and “how was your day?”, “please” and “thank you”
7) Start a conversation. Talk about small stuff that you know the person would be interested in. If you don’t know the other person well enough to know about their preferences, try to talk about things happening around you. (The meeting you’ve both been to an hour ago, the new guy in Math class, the fantastic new shoes your colleague has been wearing, etc.) Incorporating humor always helps, people enjoy someone who can make them laugh or has a sense of humor. Dry conversation doesn’t leave an impression
8) Everyone loves compliments, so don’t be afraid to say something positive about the other person. But be careful, though, not to flatter them too much. Too much flattery can give the impression that you are sucking up to them, and especially if this new friend is a superior, they will think of you as a lapdog or butt-kisser.
9) Make arrangements to meet or talk almost every week. Remember to exchange contact methods. Get her email, grab his address, ask for their phone number. Don’t leave without getting their personal info if you really like him/her! (However, if they balk at supplying contact information, do not harass them trying to get it. Be nice, smile, and offer to run into them again some day.)
10) Be eager to help. Offer to help clean up after a party or a get-together. The host might be tired, and welcome your help.
11) Always remember to treat people the way you would like to be treated. If you are nice to people they will treat you in the right manner, and if you are horrible and nasty to people they will think that you’re mean and ignore you.
12) If you have people who are very ill-mannered to you, never act the same way back, because you are bringing yourself down to their level.
13) Look people in the eyes when you talk to them.
14) Be nice and polite in front of people even if you need to say mean things to yourself later.
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