here I go to another meeting!

She is gone now. A relief. Hard for me to put the B there, but I know it’s there when I need it!

this goal up because I am tired of being bulldozed, walked over, talked about, defamed, whatever. Actually I know that is why it is here.

I do not like those people who just suck energy out of you. Those vindictive people with vendetta’s that make no sense. They make no sense because there is no truth in them.

I’m tired of having to rearrange my life and constantly defend my actions, thoughts, and feelings. I do not like functioning in the quagmire of being on the defensive.

It’s nearly over, things will be settled. The next month, actually in the beginning of January, things will at least have a direction rather than this constant spinning.

Hopefully, hopefully I’ll take this goal down then. It is the least favorite of mine. But necessary.

If not,

Don’t read on…

I woke up, got the elder one off to school and the younger one settled with the babysitter. Drove an hour to Appleton to exchange the Bose ipod dock and a palm.

The palm is for my husband for Christmas. It is a new documenting system that myself and our office staff are buying him. Did I get the right PDA for the program. NO. Of course not. So I exchange the palm for an HP that runs pocket PC which is more versitile.

After three days of hearing the hubby complain that he does not like that he cannot hook the speakers to the TV, the docking system is exchanged for a cheaper one.

Coming home, feeling productive and believing that all of my worries are over and all will go smooth… Can ya’ll tell that it didn’t go that way?

So I start sneakily cleaning out one of the computers, as I am also giving this to the hubby for the new system, then uploading all of the pertainent programs to said computer. And guess what… the computer is too old to support it. So I have to give up the big computer so that our plans are not compromised.

The hubby then comes home and asks, “Where’s the Bose?”. I, of course, responded, “I exchanged it.” “I was really starting to enjoy it. Go back and get it.”

Well, here and now, and that I don’t use this word often, is the perfect word for what I’m thinking. Shit.

Then, then, he wants me to print off the communique from Medicare for the office, which is nearly 300 pages, and takes forever to print, before he goes back to work.

That just wasn’t happening… not enought time. I got 80 printed off.

To figure out more of what I wanted to do, I could not. The little one didn’t want a nap today.

And then, to make matters worse, I am 22 cheers behind. courtesy, of course, to the goblin

So I have figured out what I’m going to do.

1) Give him my big computer.
2) Purchase, after the first of the year a huge computer to replace the big computer for myself.
3) I’m not exchanging the new speakers for the Bose, but will rather wait and get a Bose Wave system that the ipod could also hook up to.
4) I’m ordering delivery pizza because I don’t want to cook.
5) I’m going to step up my efforts to find the goblin and gently convince him to allow me to have cheers.
6) if numro 5 doesn’t work, I’ll resolve myself to completing this goal

We have a meeting today at 12:30.

I am tired of having to be on the defensive of what I do. It is not a natural feeling for me to have to do everything with the thought of how it will be taken.

Wish me strength and patience! And hope that I don’t cry.

the most annoying things to be notified of something that people are ‘scheduling’ to do without any ‘formal’ notification. Not even hearing this from the people that you should be hearing this from.

Is it not the most annoying thing from a former friend to have them not let go and to continue stirring up the hornets nest?

Is it not unnecessary for me to feel like I really want to scream because of this much miscommunication? this much gossip, and this much mularky?

ah geez, I really need a day off….

I ripped my shirt, exposed the big B and made progress… there’s something about being the super B that is quite succulant.

of being told what to do, when something is to occur, and having to rearrange my schedule to have things happen.

Well, no more. The big “B” is hereby put on my chest! I shall rip open my button down shirt and expose this super B…

And for those wondering what B stands for, it is b@tchiness!

I am now Super B!

(sorry for the harshness)