(What is RSS?)so…yikes. i’m feeling like a gigantic heifer right now… not excited. i can’t married looking like this. i’m putting my foot down! i’m calling to get info on the local gym TOMORROW. i’ve got until march.
i am becoming more comfortable with my body. check out the new dress!!
or maybe just eating half. yikes!! i’ve gained a few pounds in the last couple of weeks. i always do that when i get depressed. dumbass…just stop eating cheesecake and popcorn. aye yi yi. well…i am officially going on a diet…next week. i have to wait to do my grocery budget for some slim fast. this is retarded. i went with my natalie to take her mom to the doctor yesterday and stepped on the scale. should NOT have done that. i think i won’t buy a scale though, i’ll just obsess about numbers that way. giving up soda is my first step.
my husband took this pic of me when we were out with the kids yesterday. i thought that my ass looked fat, but in this picture…not so much. hee hee. GO ME! oh…and in case anyone wonders, that carrier i have my daughter is great and anyone with an infant or toddler (up to 35 pounds) should have one. you can piggy back them in it too. i love it!
I stress so much since having kids. I finally lost all the weight I put on with my son…and got pregnant with my daughter like a month later. I know I’m not ‘fat’...but I’m bigger than I was when I met my husband! And the stretch marks…I know they’ll never go away and I hate my stomach and thighs now. When I look in the mirror or see a picture of my body I want to cry. My husband is so very very very supportive and reassuring and loving about it all. He, of course, says I’m beautiful and sexy still…but I really want to feel it. Some nights I can let go of it to make love…even get kinky. (hee hee) But some nights, it really affects the ‘mood’ and I wind up crying because I feel so disgusting about my stomach and thighs and not-so-perky-as-they-used-to-be breasts…and then I feel guilty for ruining HIS night. He never MAKES me feel this way, it’s me!! But you know when you have a hang up, sometimes it takes over your life. I just want to make time to do my pilates dvd’s and get a jogging stroller to take the kids out with me. I’m pretty much staying at a size 16 right now. My goal is a 12/14. That’s reachable I think!
