finally accept that no matter what I accomplish, it will never be enough for my mother

with my mom. She’s always bothering us to be more religious. I don’t know why, when she isn’t herself. Anyway, since we had the kitchen renovated, we went kosher. She was very happy with that decision. Which is why I have a double sink and a double oven and two sets of everything. Easier for me, and now my in-laws can eat in my house, which is nice.

But NOW she’s all pissy and insulted because we wouldn’t take any Thanksgiving leftovers home with us. In other words, we wouldn’t take the non-kosher stuff into our kosher kitchen. (I suppose we could have taken it and thrown it directly into the garbage, but what a waste!) So she wants us to keep kosher, but make an exception for her stuff.

I cannot win, I cannot win.

If you reach my cell phone voice mail, it now chirps that “You have reached Amy at Puzzlebox Designs.”
My mom leaves at least 1 message a day. But now it’s all the same theme.
“Amy, what DOES your message say?”
“I can’t figure out what your message says.”
“What IS that?”

See, she’s so hugely negative that I haven’t told her about my little venture. And I’m not going to. For a while, at least.
I just don’t want to hear I should do this, I should do that, etc. etc, when I’m actually happy and excited.

It’s sad that I can’t share happy things with her, but really, she wrecks everything.

Meanwhile, it’s vastly amusing.

because my mother would drive me nuts.

“Why can’t you go to the library for me? You’re home!”
“What do you mean, you haven’t registered to vote yet, you’re home!”
“Why is there so much laundry, what have you been doing the past few days, you’re home!”
“Of course Michael is upset to go to day care, you’re home!”
“There’s a sale at Macy’s, print out the coupon and get your free panties. What do you mean, “No”, you’re home!”

Etc.
Etc.

that one of the main reasons I will be devastated if I have to quit my job is because it will make my mother so happy?

I hired a lawn service. They came Monday and performed a massive cleanup of my entire yard. It needed it.. the leaves were a foot deep and we had fallen trees and branches everywhere.

They did a great job. Cleaned my gutters. Trimmed the big pine in the front so it’s not tangled in the wires anymore.

So when my mom came yesterday for dinner I DID NOT EXPECT her to complain about my lack of landscaping. Yep! She’s upset that I didn’t plant anything last year so we won’t have spring flowers. With the exception of those stupid daffodils that she did. She also complained about a shrub near my deck. (It looks fine). And today she called to order me to buy grass seed and seed the bare spots on the back lawn immediately.

Seriously.

I’m screening my phone calls, that’s how bad it is.
Did I do this?Did I do that? Why haven’t I..? You know, I really should..

Oh and my FAVORITE… I don’t mean to nag BUT…

LIAR!!! You live for nagging! MY G-D, I’m 9 months pregnant, can’t she just calm down for a few days????

she had something nice to say over the weekend! She liked my new window treatments! And my new extension furniture! And my dining room area rug! And the fireplace mantel! She didn’t say anything disparaging at ALL on Sunday!

I understand that my mom is trying to help me out. I do. I get it. I wish she would get that there are some things I need to do myself.
I don’t want her picking out bedding for my son’s new bedroom furniture. I want to dot hat. I don’t want her picking out window treatments and a color scheme for my bedroom.. it’s MY bedroom. And hubby should have a say too!

I am tired of having conversations about planting flowers and mulching my yard. I have no furniture in most of my first floor… quite frankly, I don’t care if I have daffodils or not.

I am tired of her complaining about my house. I KNOW it needs to be painted. I KNOW my kitchen is barely functional. I KNOW I need to get area rugs so I don’t wreck the hardwood floors. I KNOW the 3rd bedroom is still a mess nad I only have 2 1/2 more months to go before baby #2 gets here. I know, I know, I know already!!!

I am trying to ignore her but listening to her every single day is getting to me.

I taught my small son to say “I love you Bubbe”

He said it to her on the phone last night and now she cannot praise him/me/everything enough.

LOL such a small thing but if it stops her from nagging me for one day, it’s all good!!

Where’s the nearest wall? I need to bang my head against it.

I’m talking with my mom last night, having a nice conversation, when she tells me that I shouldn’t tell my boss I’m not coming back to work until after I use my paid maternity leave.

Wait, what?

I told her I have no intention of quitting after baby #2 is born. Why would I? Even after taxes, health insurance, and 401K, I still bring home more $$ than it costs to put both kids in day care. I’d be losing income by staying home. And health benefits. (Hubby’s benefits, if we opted for them, cost $500 a month. Mine cost $120, and covers more.)

She freaked out, saying that if I wasn’t going to stay home, then I need to hire someone to be in the house.

Why? I like having my son in a group situation with monitoring and state standards and social interaction. I do not want to go through the process of hiring a nanny who may, or may not, pay attention to my children. I do not want to install “nanny cams”. I do not want the hassle of having to file employer tax forms.

So we majorly disagree. She kept saying ‘we’ll talk about this later,” and I kept saying” um, no we won’t, this is what I’m doing.”

What I can’t comprehend is that she’s always complained to me that she couldn’t get back in the work force at the level she left it after she stayed home with my brother and I for a few years. Why does she want me to go through that? Is it because my hubby makes $$$?

SIGH. Just can’t win, can I?