find clarity

Amazing to me that you can enter something abstract as “find clarity” and up pops a site.

I’m having a sneaking suspicion that I’m on the verge of the very 80’s midlife crisis. I have my first corporate job, ever, and I’m doing well at it, but everything else is going to hell. Boyfriend with post traumatic stress disorder, continual fighting and explosions over tiny tiny things, defining myself as an artist when I haven’t made anything in about a year, feeling in general very lost. Except for that surging sense that it’s enough, that it’s wrong.

And I’m so bad at seeing clearly—I envy those that seem to move and decide with grace. I muck things up and swear and break it all before I figure it out. Only learning the hard way, I guess.

And therapy is…sort of helpful, and sort of crazy-making. I don’t want to talk about my childhood any more. I want to start with the now, and get results and move forward. Life is short! I’m 36!

Do I want to go back to school and really study art (in this economy??). Do I want to break up with the boyfriend and remember how lonely I was before, and how much I’ve lost touch with people?

The only thing I can think of is to take walks, keep my laundry clean, do well at my job, try to keep my head stable with the boyfriend and hope the dust will settle if I walk cautiously enough.

There is a lot going on in my life right now. I want to be able to find where I fit in this world. I am a singer, dancer, criminologist, counselor, model, wife, daughter, sister. I have trouble keeping friends for more than a few months. I wnat to sing professionally and be accepted to a gradaute school to become a marriage and family therapist. I feel as though all life’s puzzle pieces are placed infront of me, but I am having trouble putting them together.

I need clarity in my life…..being this unsure has caused….insecurities & lost of confidence…& it now affects every aspect of my life….especially the relationship i have with my boyfriend…because i now feed off of him….wanting constant attention & when i feel as if i don’t get that…..I feel unwanted!

I have been hired as a full-time faculty member to teach art classes in web design, graphics, and animation. In many ways, this brings together many aspects of my career personality. I like the structure of teaching, but I also like the freedom of leading my own classes. I am excited about the security of having a consistent paycheck and having health and dental insurance paid for me. I guess that this path sort of worked its way into my life. It’s funny how that happens. A few months ago, I did not even know this position existed, and now I occupy it. cool

I don’t really feel like I have a clearly defined idea of what I am and what my purpose is. I’m a designer, a psychologist, an artist, a teacher, a photographer, a small business owner…

I am not sure how to mesh these interests and skills into one personality…. I need clarity on my true calling and I’m not sure how to find it.

Ifound clairty in the midst of confusion and im keeping this tool to help me when i need it.

guys im having trouble. i dont have a sense of clarity about my life right now. i did yesterday and before that. i havent acted on any of my big goals or little ones it makes me question if i do have any goals and want anything for mylife

I sometimes think that I search for this in vain, that I already live an ideal life and don’t realize this. Or maybe I think too much

I’m big on thinking about what I would wish for, if a genie popped out of somewhere one day. I wanted to be prepared. So, ever since I was thirteen years old, I have been certain that I wanted clarity. To not have those stupid things cluttering my vision – drama, fears, psychoses, people. To just see what is there, and know it. That, my friends, is what clarity means to me.