Spend more time with like-minded/hearted people

But I broke the cycle…we can be kind to others…we are beautiful yet real…the person who hates me most is the mean girl that ruled and now she doesn’t.

Whatever….does middle school ever get over? Or are we cursed with it forever????

NOT!!! Being kind and real rules!

called Rocks and Things. The woman that owns it is into spirituality mostly Native American cultures. I spent 2 hours with her on Friday afternoon having tea and getting to know one another. They were having a drumming circle at 7 but I already had other plans and couldn’t make it.

I was so relaxed and happy when I left there. It is fun to find like minded people and making new friends…it’s like treasure hunting. ;)

to going to a local production of Annie, Jr. this evening. A friend called yesterday with an extra ticket. Her daughter is in it and she wants us to go together. She has made a new friend who is her work-out partner she wants to introduce me to her. Meeting new people is always fun. :)

because they choose me not because I have any interests in common with them. My people pleasing tendency overrides my boundaries and I end up in relationships that end bad. Usually because I have to find a reason to end them and there isn’t one except I am not interested.

This is very immature on my part. I have spent years waiting for relationships to change (when I know they won’t) or worse waiting for a blow-up to end it.

I am giving you this history because I see myself doing this now to a really nice guy that I have been seeing for a few months but know this relationship is going nowhere. We have different schedules…he’s a night person, I’m a day person…he’s never been married or had children or been in a long term relationship. His time is valuable. I wake up alone, go to sleep alone, eat alone and he says we are in a committed relationship. I see I get crumbs of time in his week and that is not enough for me.

I was co-dependant in my last relationship and I have overcome that problem. So standing up and saying what I need instead of holding it in is a new experience for me. I told him yesterday straight up how I feel about us without any drama.

This is definitely sad because he wants to keep the relationship but I want more companionship in my life.

Many of the women I have as friends here are entreprenuers. They have developed a niche and are very happy. I need to spend more time together with these people. We think alike.

A good friend here in the wilderness began a local woman’s magazine about a year ago. She has done a beautiful job. The magazine is getting great reviews and recognition.

We walked her dogs this morning and she is thrilled about my new business. She knows how hard you have to work to get started. She will help me anyway she can.

Maybe life here in the wilderness is not so bad afterall.

in the past was because I had very little in common with those around me growing up. Nothing has changed. We’ve only mellowed with age. I also adopted a “live and let live” philosophy knowing I cannot change others. I can only change myself.

This came to a head a couple of weeks ago when a close family member and a friend both decided they may love me but don’t want to spend time with me because deep down they don’t really like me. They are seperate people that don’t even talk to my knowledge. I have to admit what they said hurt.

After a few days of feeling blue I’ve decided it’s their lose. Others seem to like me just fine.

the hardest times in my life was my ex significant other’s mother. She was basically my mother-in-law for 11 years but more than that she is a friend and confidant.

Literally she is a well respected counselor in Texas. So she has years of experience and education in helping people get grounded after trauma in their lives.

Up until 2 years ago I spoke to or saw her everyday. We had alot in common other than our love for her son.
We could talk for hours.

Even though she is just a phone call away I miss her. More importantly now that I am feeling better both emotionally and physically I want to emulate her. :)

today…actually that happens everyday. No matter how busy i am here in the wilderness a part of me wants to go home to be with them.

Even though they are busy and i probably wouldn’t see them often…being in close proximity would help.

encourage me to be myself and follow my dreams wherever they may take me. Come to think of it so did my friends in Texas.

It has been my own insecurity that has held me back for the past few years not anyone else’s influence. That is a huge realization and admission.

I loved hearing from her. We had a falling out before I left Texas mostly caused by gossip by others.

God works in mysterious ways.

I had made the proclamation last week that I wouldn’t participate in hurting others anymore for any reason and she called out of the clear blue sky.

It was wonderful to catch up on her news and hear about her family. We had been through sooo much together, bad and good. I missed her.