find a real best friend

I feel so hopeless in this.

her mom and mine were best friends so we just followed in their footsteps. Now after 56 years we would be lost without the other!!

Here we are sitting in a wagon after goin’ apple pickin’ last October!!

first “best friend”...friends for 6 years, she ditched me for popularity…2 years later, we’re best friends again because i let her come back…then we were really good friends along with my second person i considered a best friend(listed below), then when second best friend decided she hated me, she took this person with her, and then 2 months later, she didnt know why she ditched me, and came back asking for my forgiveness…and since im weak when it comes to apologies, i forgave her…some people told me i never should have

second “best friend”...we finished eachothers thoughts and sentences, went everywhere together, people thought we were sisters because we were so alike, we were closer than we were to anyone ever…then one day, she called me and told me she hated me, and listed everything she hated about me, and she brainwashed me to think i was a terrible person, despite what everyone told me, i only listened to her, because she was my best friend…she told me “let’s just not be as close, let’s just be kinda friends” and im like, ok…well, i’d try and talk to her every once in awhile, and she’d roll her eyes acting as if i was stupid so then we didnt speak for four months…then she got in trouble with her parents because of drugs, and she “all the sudden” started talking to me again like nothing happened and told me she “forgave me” for everything i did…though no one else even knows what i did. haha

yeah, i’ve only ever considered 2 people my real best friends, and both have left me behind and came back…its people like that who make it hard for me to trust anyone, im learning though