Get OVER the idea that I need to be less sensitive.

but I’m doing way better at not apologizing for who I am these days, and it doesn’t really seem to have a lot to do with me now.

Of course, since I’m working at home and dont’ see people, maybe the real reason that I feel so strong is that there isn’t anyone here who’ll challenge me?

jkd

I don’t need to be less sensitive, I just need to learn a way of using the fact that I am in my favour.

My sister called and told me about someone who was “over sensitive,” and I responded as appropriate.

I made some comment, and she concurred.

It never occurred to her, or she didn’t mention it, that the behavior we talked about could have been mine a few years back. And, that in agreeing with my response, she’d reacted intellectually differently than she had to me in person.

But I suppose we’re all different people in our heads than in our actual behavior?

jkd

But i have made huge stride since I first realized I didn’t need to apologize for this. I don’t anymore, ever really, that being sensitive is something bad. That sometimes, in some situations, a sensitive person does need to speak up, and warn or encourage something due to their understanding of subleties.

This is something that my counselor (bless her) did for me…she started this thread in my head.

I said the oft-repeated phrase, “I’m too sensitive.” and she looked at me and said, “Compared to what?” and “By whose standards?” and “Can you really change it?”

Ummmmmmmmmm. The answers were: compared to what my family thought I should be, my family’s, and no.

Then she looked at me and said something like “Do YOU think you’re too sensitive?”

Answer: No.

“So, you’re not. You’re as sensitive as you are.”

Mind boggling. Absolutely. No need to fix this. I’m as sensitive as I am. Like I have blue eyes, etc.

I think I have this mostly done. But there are still vestiges of the “I’m too sensitive” around. I automatically start to apologize when someone hurts me and I protest and they say, “I didn’t mean it that way” with the implication that I’m over reacting.

WHAT I WANT TO SAY:
Yeah, so? It hurt.

WHAT I STILL AUTOMATICALLY SAY:
I’m sorry.

That’s what this goal is all about. I want to stop the auto-response that’s based on idea that I’m overly sensitive and therefore should apologize for being angry or hurt.

jkd