stop obsessing over him

- He has told me not once, but twice, almost three times, that he does not want a relationship
- yet I hang on in there, giving him everything he wants but won’t commit to.
- I’ve been told 3 times! I know it’s not going to happen!
- He doesnt communicate or ring or text me very often.
- these aren’t the actions of someone who wants to be with you
- So why am I kidding myself!!!!!!!

He’s not good enough, move on, chalk it up to experience, he wont fight for you, or wait for you, or appreciate you. 2 years ago

Ok, I think I have an obsessive personality when it comes to guys. I get fixated and see all these amazing qualities in one person and them only and think that they solely can make me happy.

Now there is one guy. I’ve known him for about 4 months.

I made the mistake of sleeping with him pretty soon after we met.

Which was stupid now I think about it. But I like sex and I fancied him and found him attractive so I slept with him and it was good so I did it again etc.

We had this thing for a couple of months where we’d just text and meet up in the evenings, watch films and end up sleeping together. or we’d sleep together when drunk. We never discussed it but we both knew that when the other one said ‘do you want to come over and watch something’ that we’d basically just end up staying up untill the early hours of the morning then have sex.

But, I like him in a way more than just sex, we have the same interests, do the same subject, have loads of the same views and opinions, and when we don’t agree we have really interesting in depth conversations.

I asked him a couple of months ago where it was going and he said he “didn’t want a relationship, wasn’t ready after his ex” and I was upset about it but fine in the long run. Part of me thought if I gave it time he’d change his mind.

Now after christmas we’ve started seeing eachother more and more, and it seems different to last time. Like we do things in the day time together and go in town together or for lunch and things. And we spend time at eachother’s rooms without having sex. Although we have had sex a couple of times. His texts and the way he talks to me definitely seems different, he seems to be doing more of the chasing rather than last time.

But sometimes he does seem offish, will go from texting me loads every day to nothing for days. He’s so hard to work out, I can’t decide whether it is because he is shy sometimes or he has a mini freak out and thinks I think we’re in a relationship.

I don’t want to freak him out by asking where it is going again. I don’t want to ask him incase he rejects me, I figure it’s better having someone there at least some of the time than no one at all. If I ask him if he really truly likes me and he says no, then thats it, it’s definitely over. If I don’t ask and just ride it out it might develop and I won’t scare him off.

But all this is getting so so so confusing and I can’t take it. If he doesn’t talk to me or text me for a few days I am miserable, he hasn’t spoken to me for two days and I am grumpy upset lonely and angry. But the minute he does text me I’ll be happy again.

Why am I letting him dictate my mood?

I am addicted to him. I seem to think he is amazing but he really isn’t.

I am going to use this space to list his bad qualities and force myself off of him. I have stopped sleeping with him so that is a start. I am not going to contact him, if he contacts me I will be civil but nothing overly friendly or suggestive.

If he likes me he is doing a crap job of showing it. if he doesn’t like me he is using me so badly and doesn’t even realise. 3 years ago

i find it really hard to get over this guy, who ive been seeing for a while, it really is very emotional, one day he’ll be the sweetest guy ive ever met.. and the next he’ll be flirting with my best friend ? it has gotten physical in the past, but i find myself being unable to stop myself whenever he wants to see me. and i havent been able to see him for a while due to the fact that he’s been “away” and not being able to seem him hurts more and more everyday, i also see to find myself not being able to stop thinking or talking about him :S, and i dont want to, because i feel like im ABSOLUTLEY crazy , i hate it, but i think i am attracted to the pain he causes me. 3 years ago

I think the reason why I obsess over him is because I never got him. He was always just out of my reach. He would be so great and then so mean- I wouldn’t see him for weeks at a time, and then I would see him, he would call me and we would talk for hours. He had me on this emotional roller-coaster, my lowest would be when he did not call or did not reply to my messages.. and my highest would be after a 2 hour conversation at 5 in the morning :)
Now I think whether he thinks about me.. does he even care? I think if I had been just a bit more interesting, a bit more funny, we could have been in love now.. but he’s not like that, a boy like that would never settle down..
but still… 5 years ago