gorillagal3 Life is Good. (if i keep saying it, i might believe it)
giving up
8 months ago
at the end of this month.
then i will be free. and the happiness will come. i hope.
How to give up
It made me
somehow, lighter. 
"i finally get it. he's just not that into me."
How I did it: i knew it would come. i was holding out for one last piece and i got that. i don't need to know, and i don't want to know, about the happy little life he has created.
i read He's Just Not That Into You (read it!!!!--it's NOT the movie!) and i am done with making excuses. i can go thru the rest of my life wanting something i can't have, or i can go thru life accepting that it's not gonna happen, and remember what a great life i have. and i do! i have a wonderful life!
Lessons & tips: read HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. not the movie! forget the movie! READ THE BOOK.
Resources: go to the library. or amazon. or barnes and nobles. or boarders. just go!
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gorillagal3 Life is Good. (if i keep saying it, i might believe it)
another week passed
8 months ago
and i still think i have accomplished this. and it feels good, so liberating.
i will keep it here for the month of March, and if i feel i have continued to have accepted giving up, i will remove it from my list.
gorillagal3 Life is Good. (if i keep saying it, i might believe it)
it's time
8 months ago
i think i did it.
it feels liberating.
i hope i stick with it and don’t slide back.
gorillagal3 Life is Good. (if i keep saying it, i might believe it)
she won't let me
9 months ago
and i trust her.
but i want to give up.
i wnat to get on with it.
i want to make it so far away, it never seemed real in the first place.
but she won’t let me.
damn her, and damn my trust in her. damn hope.
gorillagal3 Life is Good. (if i keep saying it, i might believe it)
my friend,
10 months ago
my psychic, advised against it at this time.
i guess keeping the hope up won’t hurt a little while longer.
ComplexAndSearching is gone
Not Me
10 months ago
I don’t give up. It goes against my nature. No matter how zen this might be.
ComplexAndSearching is gone
Funny
10 months ago
how it seems now that I’ve finally given up, gotten thru all the anger and frusration, I’ve found myself right back where I started but with a better attitude…
ComplexAndSearching is gone
Persistence
10 months ago
10 days ago I read an entry by raslalique about giving up (http://www.43things.com/entries/view/3768047) The article referenced made a very zen point about how just giving up can get you to a better place. I’m bad at giving up. I insist on what I want, even when I know better. Right now, I’m exhausted in an effort to give up. Because I still want S. I want things to work out and it’s hard to give up, not reach out. I’m confused and hurting. I want answers and I’ve always been bad about pushing things too far. I cause my own problems. I have probably put things where they are between me and S. I have the drive to be what some people have called persistent or determined. Others have called me stubborn or hard headed. Usually it pays off. The funny thing about getting what you want is that you may not be getting what is good for you.
ComplexAndSearching is gone
Doing This Now
10 months ago
I met some one about 10 months ago. He’s a really amazing person and I just love the way I feel when I spend time with him. I was still married when I met him. Since the divorce, we’ve been talking again and it made me really hopeful something would happen. Just everything feels off. Timing seems to suck. I just want things to go right and I know that I can’t MAKE that happen. And the longer this has gone on, the harder it’s been for me. We were supposed to talk this weekend, but he didn’t answer the phone. There could be lots of reasons this happened but the simple fact is he didn’t answer the phone and I was hurt by it. Hurt more than is probably good for me right now. You see, I’m moving on from all the broken places and for as much as I’d like to have him in my life, I already have so many other good things. I need to focus on those good things and not wish for other things which may or may not happen. So, I’m giving up. Que sera, sera…
