take control of my life

If he makes decisions like a single guy, he doesn’t really care about you and your relationship. You don’t want this to be true but it is.
Get this into your heart as well as your head and do what needs to be done. No matter how much it breaks your heart.

Looking out over the decisions I am making in the next year, it has occurred to me that taking control is indeed very hard. Sadly, I’m not sure my relationship with my wife is going to last. There are so many ways we are good for each other, and yet, there are so many ways that we both have become worse off than before we knew each other. In the final analysis, I think we are bad for each other. 10 years is a long time to throw away, but another 20 years wasted on top is insane. In the words of Tagome from King Arthur, “I will prepare.” just in case.

I think the most important thing for me to do was that I needed to learn to accept that I can’t control everything, and that no matter how much I do something, there are things that will not change and that I would do well to stop wasting my energy trying to change them. It’s not as bad as you may think it sounds, don’t worry. I’m not giving up, but trying something new.

My problem was that I saw the world in a very idealistic way, and when I encountered things that didn’t agree with that idealism, I felt like I had lost control. But that wasn’t true.

For example, I thought that all the people in my Catholic youth group had to be wonderful people who lived up to the ideals we talked about in discussion groups. But they weren’t. I started resenting them for being hypocritical. I don’t claim to be perfect myself, but I do make it a point to be kind to other people and not talk behind their backs. Because they seemed to talk behind others’ backs all the time, I started hating my friends for what they were doing, but I also couldn’t detach myself from the environment because I loved doing the Catholic things I did, even if it wasn’t with the people I loved. I started wanting to do something to change them (attempting to take control) but couldn’t come up with anything effective, and went crazy because of it. :p

I had to learn that although I thought that the world should run based on rights and wrongs and a sound view of ethics, that wasn’t the way it actually was. It’s important that it should try to emulate that idea, but it’s not what actually happens. And I can’t ignore what is actually going on anymore. Therefore, what actually happens in reality is more important that what I think should happen.

I used to reject ideas that didn’t go along with my “perfect” world, e.g. that those who claim to be very religious are not necessarily those that best live up to those ideals. I don’t think that they’re bad people. They’re just human. But just wishing over and over that they would change themselves is not going to make anything happen. Plus, I’m expending my valuable energy and emotional health by trying to control something that’s…out of my control.

I have to understand in what ways other people actually see the world, not just force them into my mind and imagine that they see it the way I would if I were in their place.

I’m glad that I can accept that certain things are out of my control. It’s just not worth my mental health to keep believing that they are. I didn’t want to give this up, to admit defeat in trying to make the world a better place. But I’m just trying a different tactic, because the old one didn’t really work. And I’m opening myself up to a new way of thinking. I still don’t know if I can fully accept those people in my youth group for the way that they are. But maybe I can try.

When I defined this goal for myself, I defined it in a very narrow-minded and naive manner. Not that I was wrong or anything, it’s just that my thinking has changed. For some people, they do need to step up and “take control of their lives.” But I was the one who had to lose it in order to understand that I always had control of my life in the first place.

I searched for some jobs yesterday, and applied for a few. I’m very nervous as to how they’ll turn out; you can never say anything definite about the interview if you don’t have any idea/experience of what it’ll be like…I also need to make sure that I finish my schoolwork on time, which would involve starting it really, really soon. :P

God grant me
the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3, 5-6

I am tired of being sick and tired!! I need to get in gear, get organized, take better care of myself and JUST DO IT!! Before I am able to help and motivate and coach others like I plan to, I must get my life in order!

Okay, I know I talk about a big game about changing my life , but here I am faking sick, and not going to school, and wasting everything I just don’t have any motivation and I think my family is getting sick and tired of me get saying that I’m sick, and that my stomach is hurting as I grab another piece of chicken I don’t know , I think that I need to stop wasting my life, and just stop , and get off my ass and start getting motivated ,

The first step in taking control of my life is , to stop whining, lol and also make a list of things that I need to do and do it, and stop procrastinating , motivate myself and stop hanging around people that are so negative

Okay, I realize after reading peoples goal ,and looking at my 43 things list , I can to conclusion, that I want to take control of my life . I bitch and bitch about , things and people, and how I want to do this , but I don’t do anything and its the same thing every week. Life is meant to be lived not watch, so I’m gonna take control of my life ,start motivating myself, doing things, making my life worth living. I got to stop waiting for something bad or for someone to make me realize that my life is worth living. Cause maybe no one is going to do that for me , so I think I need to be that person for myself.

To help me do that I’m going to use this site to help me complete my goals and remind me that life is meant to be lived, not watched.