help others to love themseves so that i love myself more

I realize that i put this goal without really understanding what it means .I will redaft it if i can.As for now , i drop it on the ground of its ambiguity and my lack of clarity about it.

Does love require at least two persons/what is love/ What do people mean when they say ‘i love myself’?

But it has nothing with my love towards myself. So i am going out of this goal.

i want to love myself unconditionally

i will know that i reached this goal when this “but” dissapear. well it is obvious. this love is supposed to be unconditional. i think this goal is just about getting used to the idea. and being extremly generous toward self helps getting used to this idea. you may ask, how to be generous and disciplined towards self at the same time? well, isn’t it the same thing. being disciplined is ultimate gerenosity towards self. being generous towards self is also kind of ultimate discipline.
In that vein, i purchased myself an electric guitar i wanted for so long! never dared to put it to my goal list.
I also wanted to be lazy whole day yesterday but felt terribly guilty: it was supposed to be The Day One of My New Excercise Plan but after i packed my gym bag, i spent whole day in my pyjamas instead, like allways.
Having quality me-time is the key.

appears to have some relationship with individualism and identity.Some other related concepts are self-esteem and ego.At some level i find myself stuck.Loving another requires me to give while loving myself implies to give myself.I know it is not a zero sum game but still….Maintaining my identity and yet loving another is something i have yet to reconcile ,honestly.Still , let me carry on with this goal till a clarity emerges.Perhaps i will slow down till this apparent paradox is resolved.

i first purchased one really small, tiny cyclame in small pot (2 inches diameter), tiny leaves, so sweet and nice.
after a while i realised that it is so week so i purchased another one, the strongest among all there, in a big pot, with a lots of leaves and flowers. (i’ll try to provide a photo of them.) it is moch bigger then the first one.
this morning i remembered to water them. i looked at them, i looked at the poor conditions i provide to them, as well to myself. big one was still giving new flowers becouse it has enough strength left from previous nurturnig it received in greenhouse. but the small one has only one flower left and all buds gone. it produced only some very small leaves. that teeny-tiny leaves stretching towards the light touched my heart. i started to cry. why didnt i make that small effort and provide the soil and bigger pot and repotted that small creature. i feel so much like that small fragile cyclame. why not like her strong sister? and now i need to be my own mother and father and give myself all love and support and teach myself something usefull in this life. i felt so alone.

afterwards when i was going to work i looked people’s faces. to tell the truth, they looked so tired and worried. (in this part of world we let our private face appear in public.) i felt strong emphaty for each of them. i could see why God loves each of them. i recognised i am not alone.

what i did yesterday to show my love towards myself – i went to music store i bought myself a small electric guitar. i was looking at it for almost a year. my rationale for not buying it was that it was not good enough (it is cheap, i admit). but i am happy to have it. I can allways buy better one when possible to afford it. in the mean time i have my guitar i wanted so long. in this very moment i am writing this i hear solo guitar from the radio from “another brick in the wall”. it was very very important album (and film) in my life as a teen and it brings me very strong message: it is time to say goodby to teen feelings of being abandoned, isolated, worthless.
my parents loved me very much in deed and was extremly proud of me (my fahter is alive and is still so proud) it was just their unfuncional relashionship and unfunctional habits i inherited. it is time to let that all go.

i completly forgot this goal. strange. i think about being able to love myself when i do this or that with my life. what about right now? i confused satisfaction and love i guess. i can be unsatisfied with my life and stil love myself. this i understand mentally but i need to get used to , it is new concept to me. most of all, i need to focus on satisfaction instead on unsatisfaction. hopefully those teeny tiny ilands of satisfaction will merge.
i dont believe there is time dimension connected with this goal. there is nothing to “do” about it there are no “steps”. it is just matter of perception. and self-talk habits. i guess.
If there were steps and something to do about this goal, what would it be? (Yes, if i act like i love myself, wouldn’t i be closer to this goal!) I am step-0-maniac.
How to show love towards myself?
By having (starting from obvious) allways nice hair, nicely matched clothes, nice fresh cooked food, leg massage eg. all those things, treating my body with respect. Yeah i’m discovering hot water here. But thats it.
To tell the truth, I’m anxious about my getting fit goal, i have big plans starting this Sun and am worried of failing again. But even if i fail, i can still love myself. Do I?

i almost pushed that “I’ve done” button at the first moment. but later on, when i connected on deaper level with this goal i can only say OMG! there is so much to do (i say “much to do” to avoid syntagm “total mess”) : attitudes to change, tons of forgivness, tons of internal hugs, affirmations… i want first to discover what are my “negations”....than turn them to affirmations! so:
i am now for the first time aware of so much resentment towards myself laying under the surface of “positive thinking”. this is my life. i led it as i wanted. so what is point of resentment?
i forgive myself for being so stupid. i think being stupid is human right, too.
i forgive myself for not matching into some picture of perfection that wasn’t even mine. i forgive myself for leading false life, for making wrong moves.
i forgive myself for being inactive so long.
let the past be in past.

Wait. Being stupid, read= being dissapointed and let down, e.g. being so stupid to have trust. No, no. I am proud to be so “stupid” and having trust and faith even when everything collapsed. Maybe the results are not what i expected but i at least remained faithfull to my inner vision and still am. Yes, i’m not happy with my old habits but i can carve a new groove. Loving one.
Wow. my resentment towards myself is smaller now. I don’t need to deserve my own love, don’t I? I just need to make friends with this new idea. I deserve my own love? I deserve my own love!
I like myself. Huhhh….? Not really. Even my enemies deserve my love. But to like myself, that’s another story! totaly strange. OMG help! Baby steps…
I like my face
I like how i look
I like my poisture
I like my voice ... my VOICE? ARGH! this is too much!
I like how i spend my free time ...no need to be cynical now…
I like my butt ... my poor butt… poor me!

I GOTCHA!!!

YEAH! => “poor me” it was my old mantra for too long; i need a replacement… “blessed me”. YES! Blessed me. I AM Ananda! And blessed from the bottom of my hart you who read this!