cultivate grit

_{I have missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot and missed. And I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why, I succeed. —Michael Jordan}

Grit is sticking with a challenging goal in spite of obstacles. Grit is digging deep to find the passion in my everyday life. It takes roughly 10,000 hours to become an expert at an activity.

I cultivate grit when I…

1. Achieve a goal that takes years of work
2. Become known as a person who performs to his potential
3. Overcome setbacks to conquer an important challenge
4. Stick with my goals
5. Finish whatever I begin
6. Learn not to be discouraged by setbacks
7. Become a hard worker
8. Maintain my interests over a long period of time
9. Don’t let new projects distract me from my previous projects
10. Don’t allow circumstances beyond my control to prevent me from realizing my full potential
11. Learn diligence
12. Work daily on projects that will take years to finish
13. Maintain my vision for where my life is headed from year to year
14. Learn to think of life is more of a marathon than a sprint
15. Don’t change my interests from year to year
16. Stay committed to ideas and projects. Avoid becoming obsessed with a certain idea or project for a short time, and later losing interest in it.
17. Discipline myself by practing a sport, musical interest, or other skill daily
18. Develop ambition
19. Maintain focus on projects that take more than a few months to complete
20. Keep New Year’s resolutions very well

from Duckworth, Seligman, and Peterson, Copyright 2005

_{Those who attain any excellence commonly spend life in one pursuit; for excellence is not often granted upon easier terms. —Samuel Johnson}

1. CREATE BEAUTY. Create beautiful martial art. Earn my black belt in Tae-kwon-do. Learn the first five forms. Exercise for thirty minutes each day. Learn an entire Vinyasa flow.
   Take a half hour to practice a few forms. Meditate for twenty minutes.
   
   
2. WEAVE A TAPESTRY of compassion. Stay happily married for fifty years. Be someone’s best friend. Go to my little sister’s track meets. Call my mom more often.
   Go to Hanans game. Call Latifah.
   
   
3. CREATE BEAUTY. Learn enough about the history of jazz to teach it at the college level. Learn to easily distinguish jazz drummers.
   Practice the Sarah Vaughn songs. Listen to more Louis Armstrong.
   
   
4. USE MY GIFTS of intelligence and curiosity to serve others. Learn enough about analytic philosophy to teach it at the college level. Study philosophy for ten hours each week and write a decent term paper. Earn an advanced degree in the social sciences.
   Get my papers form work. Decide how I will proceed in this class.
   
   
5. DO GOOD WORK. Create the best youth development program in the country. Figure out how to use my strengths every day at work.
   Help out at the ALA. Write some notes for the meeting next week. Go talk to Judy “did you get the prelim comments?”
   

I’ve decided this goal is not for me. I’ve always been the kind of person who expects a lot from myself and continually raises the bar until it’s too high. This goal isn’t helping. I feel tired and stressed to the point my body is sending out distress signals.

It’s just not contributing to my ultimate goal of learning to love myself.

Obviously I’m trying to take on too much. I think that’s because of the way I’m conceptualising this goal. It shouldn’t really be about multiple long term goals. The passion, focus and tenacity that are central to this goal should be focussed on just one project, like the professor in the original article.

Truthfully, I feel I am a determined person already. That’s probably why I find it so hard to let this goal go (it’s kind of like admitting defeat). Perhaps I’ll come back to it one day.

I had some doubts about my last entry. Specifically, I was unsure whether attending the artist talk at university had anything to do with challenging my intellect or cultivating grit.

Having attended the talk, I’m glad I did. It was one of the most fascinating talks I’ve attended in a long time. It was given by my old scriptwriting teacher and was about her current project, which involves turning a series of real life events into a television mini series. She discussed the problems of merging truth and fiction and the legal and ethical ramifications of this. It challenged me to see writing in a new light, exposed me to new concepts. And if there’s one word I’d use to describe my old lecturer, it’s passionate. Not only that, but simply by being who she is, she manages to infuse those around her with enthusiasm also. So the talk was very valuable in moving towards this goal.

I still feel that challenging my intellect poses a problem in relation to this goal, however. I can’t help but wonder whether simply undertaking to expose myself to new concepts is too broad an aim to really be useful when it comes to cultivating grit. Because another of the terms Saafir used to definte this goal is focus. I feel I need to focus on a specific challenge for my intellect.

After that last reassessment, it’s going to take some time for me to settle into my new conception of this goal. I thought starting straight away might help that. So for tomorrow:

Pursue what I love (Finish Awakening. Get my work out there): Resume work on Chapter 13. Format Best Served Cold for ASIM (1 1/2 hours)

Challenge my intellect: Expose myself to new ideas on art by attending the artist talk at university

Nurture my spirituality: Meditate for 10 minutes. Complete a few more Artist’s Way exercises (30 mins)

Slow down (Practice Tai Chi regularly): Attend the evening class (1 1/2 hours)

I promised to do some thinking on this goal. Having read over Saafir’s first entry on this goal, I realised what the most important criteria is for me. It’s passion. Determination I have in oodles. But that only really means something if I’m passionate about what I’m doing.

I don’t consider myself a very passionate person. Perhaps that’s doing myself a disservice, but there you are. So there are few things that I feel passionate about. The things I do feel passionate about are what needs to be reflected here.

• my writing
• Tai Chi (although this to a lesser extent than some of the other things)
• my relationship with my boyfriend
• reading

So to go through all my goals:

Pursue what I love
Definitely in. The goal itself says it all. This covers my writing.

Respect my body
I do this because I have to. I do it because if I don’t I can’t pursue the things I am passionate about. I don’t think this is a goal for here.

Challenge my intellect
I feel a bit unsure about this one. Again I’m left wondering whether this is something I’m doing for myself or for others. And then I think about my reading. I’d say that definitely comes under this category. And given how much I enjoy problem solving, I can only conclude it must stay.

Enable myself
This one has to go and for a very simple reason. This goal incorporates all the little tasks and errands I do because I have to, not because I’m passionate about them. There is an element I’m still considering though, and that’s my work as an editor. I’m determined to work as an editor because I enjoy working with words and I’d hate to be stuck doing something I despise (which I’m increasingly thinking involves any other kind of work). What is that, if it isn’t passion? I think this will require some further consideration.

Nurture my spirituality
I’m choosing to keep this goal because I believe it is where passion rises from. Perhaps that’s due to the knowledge deep down that my writing and my identity as a creator is absolutely central to this. Exploring different philosophies and testing their truth out in life is also something I’m passionate about.

Have fun
Nope. Happiness is something that requires tenacity. Having fun isn’t. Besides which, the goals this incorporates for me is far too fleeting to be classed as gritty.

Slow down
I tend to class Tai Chi under this goal, so it’s staying.

Connect with others
I must be oh-so-careful with this goal. I must use it to cultivate the relationships that are important to me and not the ones I feel guilted into keeping. I think the key here is to be more specific, as concrete as possible.

In fact, I think that needs to extend to all of these. I need to reexamine my goals and make them as concrete as possible. I feel I’ve made progress on that already this year, but I can see I still have a way to go.

Smile at myself in the mirror

Enable myself: Finish edit.

Pursue what I love (Finish Awakening. Get my work out there): Resume work on Chapter 13. Check Andromeda guidelines (2 hours)

Slow down: Practice Tai Chi (30 min)

Nurture my spirituality (Redo the Artist’s Way): Complete some AW exercises (30 min)

Challenge my intellect: Reassess this goal

Respect my body (Improve my diet): Plan meals for the rest of the week.

Connect with others: Email Sarah

Have fun: Colour in

_{I know the price of success: dedication, hard work, and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen.
—Frank Lloyd Wright}

1. CREATE BEAUTY. Create beautiful martial art. Earn my black belt in Tae-kwon-do. Learn the first five forms. Exercise for thirty minutes each day. Learn an entire Vinyasa flow.
   Wake up a little early. Memorize the rest of the basic flow so I can mark that goal “done.” Meditate for twenty minutes
   
   
2. WEAVE A TAPESTRY of compassion. Stay happily married for fifty years. Be someone’s best friend. Go to my little sister’s track meets. Call my mom more often.
   use the drive to Fort Worth as our time to catch up. Try to listen really well. Draw a little note and send it to Mom.
   
   
3. CREATE BEAUTY. Learn enough about the history of jazz to teach it at the college level. Learn to easily distinguish jazz drummers.
   Practice the Sarah Vaughn songs.
   
   
4. USE MY GIFTS of intelligence and curiosity to serve others. Learn enough about analytic philosophy to teach it at the college level. Study philosophy for ten hours each week and write a decent term paper. Earn an advanced degree in the social sciences.
   Go to class. Take a stab at reading the paper. Use two solid hours tomorrow morning to study philosophy
   
   
5. DO GOOD WORK. Create the best youth development program in the country. Figure out how to use my strengths every day at work.
   Think harder about volunteering. Decide if the library is the best choice. Go to the library and talk to D about the music project.
   

I’ve been thinking a bit about this goal lately. The last week has proved it to be an excellent goal for helping me overcome my procrastination and working towards my goals in incremental steps. It challenges me to be concrete, to break things down and really look at how I’m going to achieve them.

That said, it’s not something I want to do every day. As dear Serenity noted recently, I expect a lot from myself and set the bar high. Sometimes that’s setting myself up for failure. Each day so far I’ve tried to work in a few activities that are relaxing and fun. Even so, there are days when I just don’t want that checklist hanging over me. Like on the weekend, for example.

I’ve decided I’m going to keep with this goal though. Because I like a challenge. Because I want to achieve those long term goals. And many of my goals and projects are long term. Awakening is an excellent example. I’ve been working on that story for over 4 years now. This year I’m determined to see it through to the end.

_{I know the price of success: dedication, hard work, and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen. —Frank Lloyd Wright}

I started off my day in a funky mood. I woke up too late to do my morning ritual. I think I can steal away from work to exercise and meditate for a half-hour. That should make me feel better. I read the first two chapters of a fascinating new book by Marcus Buckingham, the Gallup guy who writes about strengths in the workplace. He argues that the route to flourishing is to identify the unique way your brain is wired and spend your whole life developing along those lines. He claims that we can grow most in the areas where we are already strong. His description of what it looks life to build a life around your strengths sounds a lot like the recipe for building grit. You can’t be passionate and persistent about anything. You need to pick areas that you are drawn to, that give you energy, where you feel like your best self.

1. Develop a morning ritual. Meditate daily. Exercise for thirty minutes each day. Learn an entire Vinyasa. Earn my black belt in Tae-kwon-do.
Meditate for twenty minutes. Do a half hour of yoga tonight.

2. Stay happily married for fifty years. Weave a tapestry of compassion. Be someone’s best friend. Plant a garden.
Leave Kim a sexy voicemail. Make sure we get our fifteen minutes on the drive home tonight. Finish the laundry. Call Hanan and Latifah.

3. Create beauty. Learn about 1920s jazz. Draw every woman from the Fall 2002 issue of Perfect 10
Practice the Sarah Vaughn songs. Draw another picture.

4. Use my gifts of intelligence and curiosity to serve others. Study philosophy for ten hours each week and write a decent term paper.
Sketch out a plan for studying this weekend. Do step 1.