become who I am.

I’m afraid i’m so much fucking up my life that it will be impossible for me to become who i am on the inside, or who i was before all this

I’ve just realised that this goal to become who I am is intricately linked to my goal of changing my life. I wouldn’t exactly want to change my life so that I can become more alienated from myself. And becoming who I am, my essential self, can only be about looking deep inside, getting rid of the distracting and useless mind chatter, operating more often on the level of my best self than not, and loving the contradictory, contrasting, and even contrary human mass that is me. And that is part of the tricky bit – the falling in love with self.

We are made out of oppositions; we live between two poles you don’t reconcile the poles, you just recognize them.”
- Orson Welles

Today I am enjoying my achievements and remembering the peace that there is in silence.

I’ve tended not to enjoy my achievements too much in the past, going quite rapidly from celebration to self-criticism mode, identifying ways in which what I did could be better, and generally devaluing myself. But today, I slipped into feeling good about the final product mode and managed to stay there. It feels good to feel good and to have effectively blocked out one bit of negative chatter, without actively trying at that moment. I’ve been working at quieting and neutralising some of the mood monsters in my head – I just may have taken a step forward.

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
Lao Tzu (c.604 – 531 B.C.)

Well today I have become who I am yet again, go figure…lol

No, seriously. Nietzsche was a very complex person. To become who you are – that is only one of his intriguing paradoxes. I like it. It makes you aware of the constant flux.

Embrace the responsibility

It is not anyone else’s job to make you happy or fulfilled. What you choose to be is what matters.

When life is not going your way, there is nothing of value to be gained by looking for someone to blame. Instead, move beyond what has already happened and get busy exploring the positive possibilities available to you.

If you experience a disappointment or even a serious setback, that is no reason to give up hope. Though life is certainly not perfect, you are completely capable of moving forward no matter what may have happened before.

Happiness will come to you when it comes from you. Success will be yours when you choose to take responsibility for making it so.

Instead of obsessing over who might have hurt you or why or how, decide to get on with life. Instead of putting your energy into resentment, put that energy into creating meaningful greatness.

Your life is yours to live. Embrace the responsibility and all that goes with it, and your days will be filled with true richness.

—Ralph Marston

I may have decided to become someone else but now I am stuck being me

We are the products of editing, rather than authorship.”
- George Wald

I would like to think I am a bit of both, but trying to do less on the editing side these days.